|
Not so best 'Best Friend'
Hey, I'm 16/f. I live in a small town, mostly full of old(er) people.
Anyhow, all my life I had been a loner because i spent most my days in the hospital in a different province. Long story short (sorry this may end up long in the end), I had kidney failure at age three, spent up until like age 5 in hospital, was on dialysis, got a transplant when i was 7, and now i go to hospital in different province about twice a year. So I never really had time to make any real friends.
At school I would always sit on this one bench outside at recess because i wasnt good at making friends and people didnt want to 'hurt' me (which wAs kind of them) after my mom told everyone i had sugery. Everything kinda went downhill from there. Then one day everything changed...
This girl came up to me, and we became best of friends. Had been for six years. I was so glad to finally have someone to be TRUE friends with. True friend being someone you can trust, someone you can share everything with, someone you can relate to, someone who loved you for who you are. I'm not saying im chubby or anything, im not on so many meds and im really quite skinny now. Fair size skinny not anorexic or anything. Anyhow,
She even told me i was her best friend, and we really were. We shared secrets, hung out, had sleepovers, had 'friend' talks, did school projects together, did eachothers hair, nails. I could list TONS more. We really did eVeRyThInG together.
Then she decided to dump me for my brother. I always knew she had a crush on him but one day she ended our friendship. Just like that. Her parents are fake christians basically. They 'follow' the bible but do everything opposite. Since my bro is not christian they wouldnt allow their daughter (my 'friend') to date him. So once they started, my brother and 'friend' kept it on the down-low. From me as well.
My brother really is one of the biggest jerks in the world. I cant stand him for very long because he does everything a typical teenager does, and MORE. Blasting his music, talkin back, pushing,he drinks and hangs out with the 'bad' crowd, etc. He's 17.
Everyday after they hooked up My brother and her would neck and kiss,make out in front of me and my family, and do all that gross stuff. I wish they'd have more respect for others at least. she did not care that she just ditched me to spend every waking moment with a loser.
She comes over everyday now basically and hangs out with him, making everything we did together seem like such a lie. She doesnt care that she totally crushed me. I've only ever had one true friend, but the truth is she never did care. You know? Guys were more important, even though she goes through them like dirty socks. Shes a player.
For the longest time after dating my brother she kept copying me as well. Buying a laptop because i did (her parents really bought it for her, i buy my own things with my own money), buying a dog because i did (her parents bought hers for her), buying a new sweater because i did (once again, her parents), getting a job at the local grocery store because i did, excetera excetera.
I know theres more people out there... somewhere. But for now i am confined to my small little town and I cant really go anywhere till i get my licence. In November.
At my school, you basically have to smoke, drink, be 'popular', be a slack-off, be everything bad, to fit in. And i just wanna be me unfortunately. Sober, clean and drug free. Moving is not an option, and besides, i only have about two more years including this one that just started.
Im sorry but I can't stand her anymore. She is my brothers slut, my sisters 'best' friend, and my moms fourth child (even though she does find 'her' irresponsible, which she is.)
What can I do now?! ... Please help!
And thanks for reading my long.. long story :)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i am so sorry about everything thats happened, i was in a situation pretty close to this. sorry for such a long story ahead but it has a point promise:)
-i moved to a new city in middle school and i can be really shy when i dont know people. so during that year i basically had no friends i sat by some girls at lunch but truly i was known as the "shy girl". the next year, in HIGHSCHOOL i came to school not knowing what to expect. i met a girl who seemed like she had so much in common with me and we did everything together all of 9th grade. but i went to a new highschool right across town in in 10th grade so we grew apart, we would talk but not as much, she actually started to replace me, she had gotten a boyfriend and she was truly obsessed with him. and when i confronted her about it, she would say nooo your my best friend forever and i would try to forget about it and it would be okay for a while. but then i started to like this boy at my school (who she had never met) and i told her about him she asked for his screenname on aim and i gave it to her (stupid idea) next thing i know she was "bestfriends" with him AND THEY HAD NEVER MET. i was furious and i told her how i felt and all she said was "im sorry i dont know what to do" i told her "yeah you've always been sorry and im done with your stupid apologies." after arguing back and forth we stopped talking. then a few weeks later i decided to talk to her and i told her i forgave her and i just wanted to forget about it. i wasn't telling her that we were gonna be BFF's again but she took it that way so even though we hardly talk to this day she still considers me her BFF, maybe she likes the title?- (so i know what its like ot loose a bestfriend)
for a really long time i felt really lonely and felt like nobody liked me but then i realized i was the one controlling if i had friends or not.
i actually convinced myself that its okay to make friends (if that makes sense) don't be afraid to walk up to someone at lunch and say "hey can i sit by you" although you might be scared (like i was for a time) a lot of good can come of it. i also learned from someone i recently met that ever since i had moved here they had always admired me because i was one of the good girls who didnt drink or anything but still new how to make someone laugh (the important things in life) so what i am trying to say is there may be someone you have looked at but never thought they had noticed you when really they do.
and dont worry about this former bff...she'll get a wake up call someday.
]
i'm so sorry to hear about all of this! i'd give you a hug but obviously that would be impossible being as we're in different states. i wouldnt want you to think that your entire friendship with this girl was a lie... as much as i hate to admit it, people change. it could be a really sad/frustrating thing to deal with, especially in this case. sometimes ya just gotta be optimistic, sweetie. like in this case. maybe if you two were still friends, you'd have ended up JUST like her. i dont think you'd want that:/
i'm so glad to hear you dont wanna change yourself though, that's so great! don't let other people take that away from you! most of those kids at your school that party and do mad drugs will prob end up living in the streets afew years from now, and you will be successful and happy! i know it. to make friends, sometimes you just gotta confront someone and compliment them. like 'hey! i really like your outfit' it may sound lame and may seem out of the question by once you start making more acquaintences, it'll all be worth it! you're obviously a wonderful person, so good things WILL come! just don't crush your own hopes with what's happened in the past, okay? hang in there sister, i hope i helped outt!:]
]
More Questions: |