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i dont know what to do.
about 5 months ago, i started dating this guy. we fell madly in love in no time at all. after 3 months, he told me he needed a break off of the relationship. so i let him.
after a week, he asked me back out. we had been going out for about 1 week or so when we decided to have sex. a week after that, we did it again. we were going out for a little over a month, and he admitted that he had jumped back into the relationship too quickly and that he still wasnt ready.
i was sick and tired of being hurt by him, so my friend and i walked 3 and a half hours, (20 minutes by car) to get to his house so i could talk to him. he said he still loves me and wants to go back out, but not right now. maybe in about a month or so. but i asked him what was wrong with him and why he kept doing this, and he told me that the fact that he "took my virginity" has been "haunting" him.
now, to me it sounded like he regretted it. i tried my hardest to reassure him that it was okay and that i wanted him to be my first, but he said it still bothers him.
and even thought it did physically hurts to have sex with him, i enjoy every minute of it. you cant get any closer than you do in bed. and i just dont think he sees it like i do, and that really hurts me!
well i had walked to his house yesterday and talked about this, and we're still broken up. he cant ever get on the phone because his brother always hogs it. (their whole family shares a cell phone) and so he cant call me, and im not aloud to do aim anymore. (it gave my computer a trojan virus.) so i cant talk to him on there, either.
how can i let him know that its okay that he took my virginity? or how can i make him stop worrying about it? how can i make him see sex like i do?
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In the nicest way I can put it, he is simply a dick and making up excuses as to why he can't contact you. So what if you can't use AIM and he can't get to the phone. Why doesn't HE walk the 3 hours just to see you, or even email etc.
If he seriously wanted to see you, there's is no doubt about it - he would. but he's making no attempt to.
The only thing he is feeling is guilt for taking your virginity, when he knew he shouldn't have.
If I were you, I wouldn't even bother explaining to him it's "okay" he took your virginity - because it actually isn't. You need to open your eyes and see he's not worth it.
Why doesn't he see sex like you? Because as I've said, 1 - he's a dick, 2 - he's not worth it.
You'll find someone who does see sex like you do and that person won't mess you around like him.
It's going to be hard, but you should move on.
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To be honest he is probably more like feeling
guilty for taking your virginity when he really
didn't want to continue dating you.
I don't say that to hurt you, its just a
painful reality. Think about it, he is making
NO attempt to contact you. I don't buy that
"brother always has the phone" excuse, you
shouldn't either. Its BS. YOU are the only
one walking 3 hours. He used you. If you
make no more attempts to go see him, you most
likely will not hear from him again.
Guys just don't see sex as females do. So
don't get trapped into thinking that he
considered it an act of love. 9 out of 10
guys just don't think of it that way.
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