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Writing.
Okay, so a writing coarse I'm taking at my school says we have to write a Romantic Novel. With 3d emotions and characters.
so when my main character tells the boy that she feels a lot more them she should for him. I want to make sure it sounds like something a girl would say when shes rambaling and not really thinking about the words coming out of her mouth which happens easily.
So this is what she says.
"I'm afraid. There I said it. I'm afraid to completely open my heart to you, and to show you exactly what you mean to me because everytime I do- something happens. Something that seems that if I never told you what I fealt, that would have never happened. Everytime I get attached to anything, it gets taken away from me. So I refuse to let you know that, yes your eyes scare me but that's because theres a shine in them I've never seen anyone give me before. You smell like you've been rolling around in hay for hours, but I wouldn't trade it for the world- and it feels like your arms were molded for my body and it's my favorite place in the world. I can't let you know how much you really mean to me, because if I do. I'll know it's true and will somehow ruin everything."
Is it to long?
Is it something a girl would say when she's head over heels in love and is really terrified of feeling what she's feeling for him because the only other relationship she's seen close up fell apart.
And if you were a guy.. what would you say to that?
Sorry I know this is really hard to answer because you don't know the whole story.. but just giving me your imput on my writing would make me very very happy =]] Im a little worried.
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I would say that it isn't too long, its quite good actually. What she says is how most lovesick girls would act and say. Personally i would put in a few pauses, like, she's Trying to get it all out, and is stumbling all over herself. Also, the guy, most guys would've interupted (yes its kinda stupid because then we cant get it all out) but anyway, unless he is truly processing what she's saying, i would have him act like a more typical guy and interupt, at which she keeps rambling on and on. or, if u prefer him not to interupt, at least have her consciencely look at his reaction and think about his composure/posture. Hope to see the book on the bestseller's list?! (even though i dont know the name >.<
~A
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