|
MAJOORRR love problems. [reallllly long!]
I have so much going on, and this is making everything worse. About a year and a half ago, i started going out with this guy Alex. I liked him ALOT, he was my first kiss! So obviously, you keep thinking about that moment that you first kissed someone, also he was my first true boyfriend. I was about fourteen, or about thirteen. at that time. I am almost sixteen now. I constantly think about Alex. We broke up because at my young age, i didn't know much about relationships then. Making it the fact that he was my first true boyfriend. We would talk on the phone EVERY night for HOURS. When i say hours, i mean HOURS. about 4 or 5 hours. then i would have to wake up for school about 3 hours after we hung up. i didn't care, i loved him. I was texting him about 7 months ago, He said he missed me so much and that he thinks his current girlfriend is a bitch [sorry for the bad language!]. And that he also thought about me constantly, and kinda wanted to dump his girlfriend for me. I was so happy that i was in tears. After that, i got a boyfriend about a week or so later. He got really mad because he hated the guys. I dated that boy for about six months. Then we broke up because he cheated on me, but thats a different story. I texted alex about.. a few days ago, he is still with his girlfriend, having family problems, etc. Now that he knows my number, he texts me all the time. But his girlfriend effing hates me. She wants me to die. So he has to go behind her back and talk to me. I told him how i really felt, that i was in love with him, and that i thought about him all the time. And that i wanted him back, and that i was really sorry for not being the best girlfriend. but since he has a girlfriend he couldn't really say anything to that. He just said "sam would fucking kill me if she saw that i was talking to you, i don't want to risk it". But i said dont even put me in your contacts, your under meghan in my phone, no one will find anything out. I offered for alex to come over because i haven't seen him in about 2 years now. He was scared i was gunna try something, but i promised him i wouldn't. But i wouldn't do that to him, i know how cheating feels! He can drive, hes turning 17 in may. I'm turning 16 in December. I really love this boy, so much. I think about him all the time, I cry for him, I listen to "lips of an angel" [that was our song] every night. I look at his myspace constantly [his girlfriend blocked me on facebook] Last night, he brought up our past relationship, saying why couldn't i ever hang out or why didn't we ever do anything? i said because i was young, i didnt understand a relationship. Then he asked me if i had sex, i said no im still a virgin im waiting for the right person. And then he said he had sex with his girlfriend. But the thing is, his girlfriend is ruining him, she smokes, she got him into smoking, and drinking and driving. I really want them to end their relationship. I really want him back, but i dont know what to do! Im really in love with him, dont say that i have many more years to live to find love. I found it already, i think of him ALL the time and cry, i have him written in my closet. i cry when i see it. 1/3/07 is when we started going out... i dont know what to do, someone PLEASE help me!!!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The right thing to do here, is just talk to him. He obviously knows how much you care about him and how much you miss him. But just let him know how much he has changed since he has been dating her and that it is definitely not healthy for him.
I know how hard it is for you, but by dating the other guy, didn't help the situation much either. Why would you do that if you had just starting talking to him again?
If 'Alex' really cares about his girlfriend, then don't ruin that for him. If he's happy, you should be happy even though it is killing you inside. Just be there for him whenever he needs to talk and let him know you're not going to be lead on.
It sounds like ya'll would be good for eachother, but you should try and make him realize it. I hope everything works out!
x0*-Bryttnii
]
Thanks for inboxing.
Oh my gosh, I know exactly how you feel. I have been through this exact situation. The missing of the ex boyfriend/first kiss, and his new girlfriend hatemailing me on Myspace. Huh, wow, anyways...
I think you should move on. It's unhealthy to stay so attached to somebody, and you only end up hurting yourself more. Trust me, I know. I don't mean to sound harsh, but if HE wanted YOU back, he wouldn't be with his NEW girlfriend. And when it comes to drinking and whatnot, those are his choices [or in my opinion, mistakes]. Just let him be, and don't be a burden.
You DO have your whole life ahead of you to find love. You're young, and if I can get over it, you can too. Find other things to do. Go shopping, see a movie with friends, get a manicure, clean your room [and closet], something, anything to make you feel better. Sure, it's going to take time, but all forms of healing does.
"You can't love anyone that way more than once in a lifetime. It's too hard and it hurts too much when it ends. The first boy is always the hardest to get over. It's just the way the world works."
-Laura. (16-f)
]
Breaking up their relationship for the sake of yourself is selfish and wrong. I don't suggest you try if it's just for you.
If you genuinely want him out of his relationship because of what she is doing to him, then I would say that is somewhat fair.
Talk to him about it. Let him know, without being rude, that she has made him into something he shouldn't be. If he wants to be how he is now- you can't change that. I'm sorry. If someone tells you that you can, they are lying.
If he does want to change, tell him that getting rid of his girlfriend would be step one. Let him know that you aren't being selfish. Sure, you obviously want to date him, but if he does end up breaking it off with her, rushing in and trying to date him is not wise. Give him time to get over the breakup and clean himself up.
If and when he does this, then I would say it would be alright to try to date him. If he doesn't want to date you, you can't change that. If he does, well then you're in luck.
--Jack
(16/m)
]
More Questions: |