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a guy that i really like is dating someone
I'm a girl, 14 years old, and theres this one guy who i dated a while back, but i broke up with him. Lately, we've been talking a lot and a started to really really like him again. He was so sweet to me and he seemed like he liked me a lot, too. One night, i told him how i felt and he told me that he liked me too, but the thing is, the next day he started dating another girl, and he told her that he loved her---over myspace. To me, thats stupid, especially on the first day dating and stuff. But anyway, i haven't talked to him since then, and i can't get him off of my mind and its driving me NUTS. Everything i do, reminds me of him, and i see his face all the time everywhere i go. I know that sounds stupid, but its true. Idk what i should do about it. And thinking about it puts me in a bad mood, and makes me take it out on my family and stuff. I am trying so hard to forget about him, but i think about how he makes me feel, and i just can't. I just have no idea how to handle this situation. >.<
-jess
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Jess, never let a guy make you think any less of yourself. You're an amazing person, gorgeous, and deserve only the best!
It was pretty lame of this guy to tell another girl he "loved" her over MySpace. While he could be a really loving guy, it's likely he didn't mean what he told her, especially considering he couldn't say it in person. There's always going to be guys out there who will say "I love you", and even maybe think they mean it within the few weeks of dating. It's kind of naieve, but I can't say I know for sure that they grow out of it.
Remember: Just because he asked the other girl out, dosen't mean he didn't have any feelings for you. Maybe he wasn't lying about liking you too, he just probably made a weird decision based on his heart, not his brain.
It wasn't really fair of him to tell you he liked you and then go and ask someone out. Maybe he didn't expect any commitment to have to come from you guys being so honest, because you were already friends? Basically, you got the short end of the stick, and as unfair as it was, you'll have to sort out the mess.
From what you said about how he told this girl he "loved" her the first day and all, I'm not sure how long they'll last. Maybe they had feelings for each other for a long time, but if he liked another girl (aka you) beforehand, and they're saying things like that over MySpace, I'm questioning how genuine this relationship will be. But I'm not saying keep yourself hung up on him. That's your choice, and while I'd advise against it from experience, it's your's to make. The best thing to do here would probably be to cut him off, forget him. But that's hard, obviously. I'm just saying keeping your hopes up really really high would probably keep lingering feelings, as well as hurt.
It's not stupid at all to have this reaction to something like this. If you used to think about him a lot, chances are you'll think about him even more now that you've got this big situation to muse over. It's normal, don't put yourself down for it.
It sounds like you need closure, in my opinion. If you've still got all of these thoughts and questions floating around unanswered, you're bound to want to think them over! It's awkward, and it might hurt, but it's like a shot -- You've gotta get it over with to feel better; Talk to him. It dosen't have to be in person, he's obviously got a MySpace, but let him know why you're confused. Ask him why he did what he did. If you guys haven't talked since then anyway, there's not much to lose. Just ask him why he told you he liked you. If he tells you it's because he wanted to be honest or something, ask him why he chose the other girl. Why not you? Ask him anything that's getting to you. Don't leave anything out. Get everything done at once, so you've got all of the answers you need. I'm stressing this point: DON'T HOLD BACK. You'll feel a lot better, even if his answers really suck, once you at least have answers. Don't give up, either. If he's not answering you, send the message again. Be persistant. That, or get a friend to tell him to respond.
Once you know everything, it'll slowly get better. It's going to take time, but I promise you it will get better. It is a lot better if you distract yourself, though. Try to read a lot. Watching tv is usually boring and you'll end up thinking anyway. Hang out with friends (*cough*, haha), listen to upbeat songs, swim, find something really confusing to think about, or try to start helping others. Join a site like this, or maybe even do some charity. It'll get your mind off of him and onto something else.
Just try not to concentrate so hard on him and what he did to you. The less you think about him, the easier it'll get. Also, make yourself available to other guys. Don't keep yourself stuck here for him. You're much better than that, and you've got the strength to get through this! (:
XOXO
KAT.
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Distract yourself by putting a lot of time and energy into things you love to do. Always wanted to play soccer? Do it. Have a thing for the french horn? Take lessons.
Things happen. Maybe he liked the other girl better. That happened to me. I had a 3-year crush on my best guy friend and was about to tell him I "loved" him when he started going out with one of my friends. I was so upset; I thought I would just die right there. But in the end it didn't matter because in the fall of that year, I met my current boyfriend and soulmate. Everything fell into place from there. (Okay, with a few bumps along the way! :P)
For every door that closes, a hundred more open. :)
Positive thoughts!
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Honestly, do not make yourself believe that you are not good enough for him in some way. It is all about him, and what's wrong with him. Even though he admitted that he kind of liked you back that night, it was still very shady of him to go & date another girl the very next day. Esp. telling her that he loved her-over MYSPACE!? If your crush can’t see what’s special and cool and beautiful about you, what kind of person is he anyway? Not someone who gets you for real. Not someone who deserves you either. You want to feel secure and valuable in a romantic relationship, right? So this guy is not the right one for you, even if it seemed for a time that he might be.
And since basically everything reminds you of him, distract yourself by throwing yourself into your schoolwork, taking up a new hobby or learning a new sport. Get active and you’ll be too busy to dwell on what happened. This is really important. Call a good friend, play an happy song that makes you want to dance, remind yourself of how much there is to be grateful for in your life. (:
Hope this helped & Goodluck!
♥Kristen
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