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how to break the news
ok i have this situation me and this guy have been really good friends and recently our feelings have changed he likes me alot and we have been talking alot more and i developed some feelings for him as we were talking but idk wat happened i just dont feel the same no more and he really likes me he is so sweet to me treats me the way any girl would want to be treated and i feel bad because i dont have strong feelings for him like he does for me and my friends are like give him a chance and stuff so i have been and when were together its wierd now he is kinda shy and then i makes me feel wierd cuz the way our relationship was as just friends was kool always laughing and stuff now its just different and i dont really like it i feel wierd to flirt with him and its just not right and i dont know how to tell or what to do at all he is so nice to me and i dont want to hurt him
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Oh my goodness..I have been there before!! It's always complicated when you cross that line between 'friendship' and 'love'. I know that you don't want to hurt him, but it's inevitable that this is not going to last. The longer you wait, the harder it will be on both of you. Often people fall for their "friends" and for many reasons. In my case, I saw this guy that I could talk to about ANYTHING, I could always be myself around, I could use as an 'alibi', I could trust with my life, etc. All these things are very charming, very easy to fall for. But you have to remember that that's what GOOD FRIENDS are all about. Once you cross that line, there are things you can't talk about. You know, those things that you ONLY talk to friends about. It's not unusual for this to happen, in fact I think it's probably happened to 85% of people living on this earth!
You don't want to ruin your friendship, so first and foremost, you have to be honest with him. Make sure he knows that the reason you are doing this is because you want things to be like they used to be, like they were when you all were just friends. I warn you, things are going to be awkward at first and most likely, you all WON'T go right back to being best friends. If he needs space afterwards, give him that. Give him a chance to process things. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way and is scared to hurt YOU. Either way, it's unfair to stay in a relationship with him if you don't like him that way. The longer you stay in this relationship, the harder he will fall once it is over. Good luck hun and I hope I helped you out some! Let me know how things turn out.
<3 Leslie
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Oh wow, this sounds kind of familiar when it comes to my past relationships! Falling for friends can definitely be complicated. The problem in this is that it's more fun and it almost seems forbidden in a way to like a good friend, and then it's kind of bland once ya'll are together.
If you don't want to hurt him, try to wait it out for a little. It sounds ilke it's a little boring in a way to be alone together. Try doing things that don't require a lot of flirting or anything. Watch some movies together so you can just sit around and cuddle and be comfortable. This would make it so that it's not forced really, and if you just relax, it's really interesting. That, or you guys could hang out with a group of friends so that you're not forced to completlely be romantic, and can be more playful and friend-like for the time being.
If you really don't think it'd work out though, try to talk to him and ask him how he feels about everything. Give him a chance to say how he feels instead of instantly breaking up if that's what you're planning on doing. Let him get it all out, then you do the same. Afterwards, give it a week or two and see if things improve. Don't be too nervous about talking to him about it, by the way. It may be a little awkward, but it'll help a lot, believe me! Also, 'taking a break' could be a nice alternative to an instant break up, and it could bring back the 'forbidden fliting' aspect.
If those things don't work, think of how things would be if you guys broke up. Sure, it'd be a little awkward as well, but could you still get along? Would you still be friends? Would you both be happier? Could you find someone better? Will you regret it? Ask yourself questions like this, and follow the answers to help you make the smartest decision!
Good luck!
XOXO
KAT.
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I read this question and thought I might of posted it haha. This is exactly what my situation is like. I liked him at first then the feelings just went away. I still havent told him that im not into him like that. But I think I probably should soon, and so should you. The longer you wait, the more attached they can get and they'll think you like them. Maybe if you tell him now then you guys can just go back to being friends after a while. :)
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