alright so i'm bulimic. well i don't really binge that often but i throw up like everything i eat. when school was in i told my friend because i wanted help, she went to the school counselor with me and i told him. he called my mom and told her. all i could do was cry i HATE talking about it because literlly all i do is cry because i feel so stupid for having this. so my mom took me to a psychologist and i didn't like so she didnt make me go back to that one. after that everyone just kinda ignored it. sometimes i wish i would have never told anyone because i hate when people worry about me. i didn't so it as much but then things got bad with my stepdad and recently it got a lot worse. i'm back to my old habits really bad gosh i hate it. i don't want to throw up but i my mind tells me i have to.
i don't know what to do anymore. i feel like crap all the time because i either don't eat or i throw up. i feel fat all the time and i was feeling better about myself. i know i'm not overweight by standards i'm 5'6" or 7" like between 120 and 127 because it fluctuates a lot. so what should i do?
any advice?
i wish i could just go somewhere and get rid of this like a program. i don't think my case is that bad though but who knows.
You're off to a great start because you let somebody know. You may not like the unwanted "attention" (shall I say for a lack of a better word) but sometimes it really is great to know that at least there is someone out there that cares about you even to the slightest degree.
A therapy session may not be fun (but then I can't say much because I've never had one) but just give it a try like Razhie said. You can always find new therapists or what's even better is just finding someone you know (or don't know if that makes you feel more comfortable) and just talk about anything and everything.
An eating disorder is never any fun and you can feel at a loss with the situation. You can feel happy that you're in control yet sad at how pathetic you can feel. You can feel glad that you're in the "average standard" weight range for your height yet sad that you can't go lower. We as girls have a lot of pressure put on us by society nowadays and it can become extremely hard to be happy with our bodies or rather who we are in general. No eating disorder is a petty case that isn't "bad enough" or serious. You may feel like that right now, but trust me it will escalate and it will get worse if you don't get help in some way shape or form.
I'm not pulling this information/advice out from my .ss or information I pulled off sites. I can't help you get better but I can promise you that you're not alone.
Razhie answered Thursday July 31 2008, 3:39 am: Find another physiatrist or therapist and stick with it for at VERY least three sessions.
Therapy is painfully and exhausting, at first. It really is, but after you get used to it, you'll find it doesn't exhaust you and leave you feeling deflated and miserable. It will begin to lighten the burden and help you deal with the problems. I balled my eyes out on my way home from my first month of therapy, but by the time I’d stopped going that therapist was one of my best friends and therapy left me feeling lighter and more confident.
Please, give it at least three sessions. Try another person if you weren’t comfortable with the first, but talk therapy is really worth another try.
You are most definitely in miserable shape, but wanting to change is really the biggest hurdle! Now that you really know you want to stop, it will be easier.
You could talk to your therapist about a program and the like; there might be retreats or groups you can join where you can talk to other girls about the problem too, but that is really a conversation to have with a therapist.
I know I sound like I’m just repeating the same thing again and again, and well, I am. Talk therapy has been proven to be the most effective treatment for eating disorders, even more so then live-in treatment centers. It really is the best way to go. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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