|
annoyed by him
i totally hate my moms boyfriend right now. he acts like he is totally irritated with me. and he thinks i talk behind his back one time coming from the bathroom when i was singing this amy winehouse song he thought i was saying something bad to him. i am like no i wasnt. then i heard him like called me a bitch before and i totally had heard it. like right in your face. he really likes to belittle the shit out of me and i dont get why. i tottaly just hate it when i see them making love in the living room so maybe thats why he hears me talk. that fucker he should have taken her the fuck home then. i dont get why i should be the one to blame on this because i dont get why when they do it they always stays here and he knows i am awake and going out of my bed room. ah he is irritating as hell.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
It your mom's home hun, that means she gets to have guests over, and yes, sleep with her boyfriend.
It would be perfectly fair of you to ask YOUR MOM (not him) to refrain from having sex in the living room. That simply isn't very polite. Ask her nicely to respect the fact that's a shared space. If she has a private room (ie, a bedroom) she should be using it for that activity.
If your definition of 'making love' was just petting and kissing, then you need to just get over it. She is an adult, and allowed to make out in the living room of the house see owns.
As for the rest… Have you called him names and talked nasty about him? Honestly, have you? It sounds like you probably have, and even though that doesn't make his behavior at all okay, it only makes the situation worse and means you can’t really do much about it until you correct yourself.
The way to deal with an adult, who is acting like a child, is to be more mature then they are. That means:
NO INSULTING HIM.
NO YELLING OR SHOUTING.
NO BEING RUDE TO HIM.
NO NAME CALLING.
NO SMART ASS REMARKS.
Go ahead and vent to your friends, but be respectful to him, and to your mother when you speak about him.
In order to really show a person how bad their behavior is, you need to behave perfectly.
This way, the next time he accuses you of talking about him you can say (and have it be true!) "No. I wasn't talking about you."
Repeat as necessary. Repeat calmly. For as long as he accuses you say, and ONLY SAY "No, sorry, you misheard or misunderstood. I wasn't talking about you." Don’t respond to anything else he might try to come up with, about the past or other things. Just stick to your message.
Same approach if he is belittling you. Resist the temptation to argue with him and defend yourself. Just say "I don't think that is true and it hurts me that you would say it."
REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT. No matter what nastiness he comes up with, repeat your simple stance: You don't agree with his opinion of you, and it is hurting you.
If you can do these two things calmly and respectfully, even as he tries to make you respond and even as he yells and bitches, two things will start to happen: First off, he will start feeling like a fool. Second, your mother will probably start to defend you when she sees you not defending yourself. As long as you do a good job of fighting with him by yourself, she won’t be bothered to help you out. Once you stop fighting, maternal instincts will probably rear their ugly head. No mom wants to see their child picked on.
After a week or two of treating him this way, of being respectful to him and calm no matter what he says, then you can sit your mom down, and let her know how you feel.
Even during that conversation, the rules still apply. Don’t call him names and don’t be disrespectful. Just explain what it is that bothers you. Tell your mom that hurts you when he makes fun of you and it hurts you when he accuses you. Tell her you are trying to be nice and respectful but it’s very difficult. Talk to her about how to approach him, and ask her if she will talk to him about treating you with more respect.
Your mom will be a lot more willing to hear this, if you behaved yourself for a while and put in a real effort to be respectful to him.
DON’T tell her she can’t have him over. She is entitled too.
DO ask her to respect the space that she shares with you, and to try and not do things that make you really uncomfortable (like fucking in the living room).
]
you should really tell your mom about how you feel about her stupid boyfriend. if she doesn't like it, then just ignor her idoit of a boyfriend!!!don't forget to tell her that it bothers you when they are making love in the living room. tell her that she should go in her room. oh one more thing don't leave out the part of when her stupid boyfriend called you a bitch!!!
good luck!!!!!!!!!
oxoxoxox
Sherling123
]
More Questions: |