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Am I truly inlove with him?
About a month ago I began dating this guy. He is five years older than I am and has a little girl. But he never got married to the mother of his child. He says that him and this other girl are over for good. He says that I am always on his mind and that he doesn't know what he would do without me. He also asks me why and how can I love someone who has the problems he has especially when I could go out and get any guy my age. The truth is I don't know. This guy is always on my mind. I even dream about him at night. Now I am not the type of girl who thinks about guys before I met this guy I was extremely focused on my career. He helps me focus on my career and he never wants me to stop going to school just because of him. He is extremely suppotive. I feel like I am inlove with him, but I just can't see how I could fall inlove with someone and want to spend the rest of my life with them after dating or just a little over a month. I never believed that this could happen. So do I truly love him, and does he truly love me?
love troubles
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It's great that he is supportive. I think you love him from your descriptions. But don't rush yourself into deep relations like marriage and such after only a month. It's only been a month and you don't really know him actually. It takes time and time for you to break the outside and see who he really is. If he's still that good man inside, I think it will be time but that will be in the future. If your guy is supportive and cares about you, he probably loves you to. It's only been a month so don't be possitively sure. Just go with the flow and continue being with him. If your truly love him, you are the only one can answer that.
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You are in the extremely early stages of this relationship, and I get the feeling from your question, that your spidey-sense is tingling and telling you all is not quite right here.
I agree with your spidey-sense.
Frankly, some of the self-deprecating remarks he is making, and the way he searching for 'answers' about why you would choose him, really concerns me. That is the behavior of a deeply insecure person, and that kind of insecurity can lead to manipulation. The age difference, especially since you say you are young enough to still be in school, also makes manipulation more likely.
I'm not saying that I think he's a bad, bad person. I don't think that at all. I just think you have real reasons here to question the pace at which this is going.
Do you truly love each other? You might, but I sincerely doubt it. You are still in the infatuation stage, which is a lot of fun! You are obsessed with each other the way a child can be obsessed with a new toy. There isn't anything wrong with that, but infatuation and obsession isn’t love. It CAN’T be love. You will only end up disappointed and hurt.
When men I have dated for less then a month, start throwing around the L word, I dump them. They aren’t in touch with reality enough for me and they are in rush to fall in love. I really dislike that.
Slow down. You sound like this kind of relationship is a really new thing for you so give yourself some time to get comfortable in this and don't rush or say things you are not sure you mean.
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i cant say he does or doesnt truly love you, because i dont know him at all... but as far as you loving him, ask yourself these questions =]
- if he doesnt tell you things like that (that he doesnt know what he would do without you, etc), would you feel the same?
- do you think of him oftenly because he says he thinks of you oftenly?
- what has he done in only ONE month, to make you feel like you are in love with him?
sometimes, your mind plays tricks and your heart can believe pretty-sounding words easily.. you didnt specify your age, but it sounds like you're old enough to know whats going on inside you. put aside the smooth talking words, and think about the sacrifices, and the gestures he does for you..and always keep your eyes open =] love can happen in one month, but if its gone in the next 8 months, then it was only desire and lust. good luck!!
flirty =]
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