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I'm scared.
This is going to be hard to honestly grasp but I'll try to explain the best I can. I left a boyfriend of almost two years to be with someone else. I didn't fall madly in love with this someone else at first because I hung on to feelings for my ex and it did come between me and my new boyfriend a bit. He also had his ex of a few years in the background every once in awhile too. Well we never truly let it come between us we always seemed to stay inseperable because we wanted to get through everything together and just be together. I moved out to Utah for him then he moved to Minnesota for me then finally I had to move back to Rhode Island where I'm from and he eventually came there for me too. This is where things went downhill. Things were weird between us and eventually it caused him to push me out of his life. It crushed me it made me realize how much in love with him I got to be and how much my ex was just a mere memory. He became distant and was always gone hanging out with "new friends" He was living at my uncles house at the time and finally when I was ready to just stop talking to him he called me crying. I later found out that he was secretly with this girl for a few weeks and they had sex and what not and apparently he loved her? He told me he thought he did. This is where I literally started to go crazy. We always promised each other that we would never rush into anyone else and that we would never have sex without love because we are two very passionate people. I was disgusted at him for basically cheating on me emotionally because we were still basically very close and together in a way. and disgusted at him for wanting me back all of a sudden. I eventually gave in because He was my everything. We tried but there was always a problem after that. I was a jealous scared wreck...do you blame me for being scared of him up and going off with another girl because that wasn't the first time... he kissed a different girl before that even happened the first day they met... I started to view him as any other guy instead of the person I was so passionate about. He had complete control over me though he was throwing my heart around telling me he loved me and then being cold and careless. At one point he told me he didn't want to care about me anymore. but then he'd go back to i love you i love you. I always fell into his love trap and we would end up having sex and then breaking up again. He was good at making me feel like it was my fault but I know I was doing everything for him. The girl he cheated on me with is now back in Rhode Island and told me that hes been telling her as well that he loves her. It hurts so much. I feel so used and worthless over him. I wanted to die 3 times in the last two months. We are finally just not going to talk anymore but I don't know how to do that. I really need advice on how to get over someone like this he used to be so perfect so into me so passionate. His smile used to be so sincere. We experienced so much together so much. Hes letting her back into his life but he says as a friend it kills me. I'm scared of not being able to ever trust again. I feel so alone. We were together for a year. I'm 17 and hes turning 20 in 3 months.
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It seems to me that he really didn't care about you as much as you thought he did, he may very well have cared about you, but probably only as a friend. I was with a boy for 3 years and moving on after such a passionate and heartfelt relationship, but then things started to change between us. I finally realized that I would be better off without him, yes it was hard for the first few months but then I feel in love with a boy who completely takes my breathe away.
The first things that you have to do is get some hobbies, make plans with your friends, and stay away from this boy. He is probably going to keep trying to get back into your life, so keep your distance from him. And know that he was using you so you don't fall back into his trap. You also have to realize that not every guy is like him, when you find someone that you really care about you will slowly learn to trust again. Yes, it's probably going to take sometime but you'll get back into it.
Maybe this quote will help:
'Always have the strength to move on. And remember when
you do move on, what a blessing it was to have had
that person become a part of your life. Know that
they have impacted who you are today in some way
and because of them, you will be forever changed.'
Hope I Helped.
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If a guy completely loves you with all his heart then he won't make you feel like the guilty one. I know it is very hard to get over someone you fell completely in love with but have doubts about its existence. Looking at the person he was and the person he is now, he is not the one. The best thing to do is to find a common interest that can consue your time to get over the heartbreak. I wouldn't move onto someone else for awhile. Ignore his calls, emails, texts, or even voice mails. If you talk to him for even five minutes he will lure you back into a world that you don't deserve or need. This interest will help you occupy your mind so you don't think about him or even just get your feelings out. I learned how to play the bass and the guitar. Sometimes I wrote lyrics to help soathe my pain. It might help you too.
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