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cheating ???
im 17/f my boyfriend is 18. weve been together for about 6 months but have wanted each other for almost a year. he has a very flirty personality but since he has been with me he's toned down some, i thought. i went on his myspace tonight [i know i know, shame on me, i shouldnt have done that, but i did, it was the first time] and i found messages he's been sending this girl sayin hey sexy n he wishes he woulda had a chance to go out with her [apparently she moved] and that he woulda made her the happiest girl in the world and i love you and all this shit. what the hell am i supposed to do now? we've had some probs lately but i thought we were trying to work through them, he talks like im the only one he wants and im the best thing he's ever had. i cant exactly break up with him without expressing what ive learned but on the other hand i cant tell him i went on his myspace and read the messages. i feel so hurt right now i dont even know what to do and i need some help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The fact that you invaded his privacy isn't nearly as bad as the fact that he is telling another girl he loves her - talk to him about it, and don't let him make you feel guilty for snooping. Obviously you had reason to.
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Just ask him, straight up, why he talks to the girl. Honestly, if you don't want him to know you were on his myspace, you shouldn't have gone on it in the first place. If it is really bothering you that much, just tell him that you know he talks to her. If he does ask how you knew or who told you, say someone mentioned it. Your conscience might kick in and you'll feel guilty for getting on his myspace. However, it'll be worth it in the end when you find out what's up with them.
Hope this helped.
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I would suggest:
1. Admit that you logged onto Myspace and read his comments. Apologize if you feel that you invaded his privacy.
2. Confront him concerning the comments that you read. When you do confront him, try to remain calm. Don't automatically accuse him of cheating. Just say that you read his comments, his comments disturbed you, and that you would like for him to explain.
Some people will disagree with me. But before you decide... Allow my to explain myself.
I have watched the marriages and relationships of my friends and family crumble over and over again. I have watched my own relationships crumble over and over again. From all the heartbreak and tragedy I have learned this: no relationship between two people, romantic or not, can survive without communication, honesty, and trust. Further proof: I am now engaged. We've been living together for about a year. The relationship I am currently involved in is the most healthy, successful relationship that I've had (my best friend excluded). I believe the reasons for our success are: we discuss everything, we don't keep secrets from one another, and we trust each other with our lives.
So... In my opinion anyway... If you want your relationship to succeed you _need_ to talk about what's bothering you and you _need_ to tell the truth. And... I would also like to add... While you can take the first step... For this to work he's going to have to reciprocate. If he doesn't-again my opinion-that could be a big, red flag of warning that you see flashing before your eyes.
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