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"..past the infatuation phase.."
I have been with my boyfriend a little over three years. We love each other more than anything, and I know this. But since it's been so long, the "infatuation phase" (c/o of John Legend [; ) has sort of passed. Of course we're still affeectionate and cute sometimes, but sometimes I feel like I try much harder than him to keep that little spark alive- and by spark, I mean the cutesy stuff, like silly mushy messages now and then, sending songs that remind us of the other, etc. I do all these things and he normally does not, whereas in the beginning of our relationship he did.
Basically, is it okay that the small, silly things we used to do so often have become uncommon and we've gone into more of a comfort phase? We still do cute things occasionally, but now it's more of a "spending-time-with-each-other-is-enough". I just sometimes wonder if it will be enough to make us last as long as I'd like (forever). I mean, it's obvious married couples aren't always super lovey-dovey. So this is normal, right? I'd simply appreciate some advice/opinions (:
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just what I like to see, someone who has taken their time getting to know each other, how sweet. But tell me, why is he a "boyfriend?" You are not sure enough by now to be engaged? The wedding doesn't have to be tomorrow, but really, why the lack of commitment to each other?
Commitment is important, it takes things to that next level and reveals things about one and other. The cute stuff is all well and good, but growth comes from advancing, not from maintaining the status quo.
You know he's capable of being cutesy, but do you know he's capable of committing his life to you? Are you capable of committing your life to him? Are you two secure enough that the cutesy things don't matter?
There is nothing I would rather do then spend time with my wife of 30 years and I still do the cutesy things now and then, but the best thing she does for me is, everything. Everything she does is for me and everything I do is for her. We have devoted our lives to one and other and we are best friends. We do something special for one and other on occasion, but it always comes from the heart, that's what makes it special.
Your relationship is growing despite you, why don't you two get back into the game and actually play it.
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well, this is just my opinion, because i haven't been in my relationship as long as you have (1 1/2 years). but i understand where you are coming from. i think its okay that the cutesy stuff isnt so common. because, then when it does happen its so much more meaningful.
but maybe you could kind of kickstart his memory by reminding him of how much you love it when he does those things? i mean, if he doesn't figure it out on his own :)
hope i helped!
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