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my cousin
basically my cousin had a bad start in life and ende up living with my family. everything was great, she found it hard to make friends with people though because she is always negative. if it was never her way it was no way, and she was abusive to everyone. you try to help her, give her a better life and it is just not good enough. we've been to doctors and they say her past life really doesnt have anything to do with how she is now its just because she is always negative. for example she doesnt understand that if you are going to be late - contact your family, or the fact she wanted to go to a friends house - she's only met once and then go home with the friends dad - a man we have never met. She thinks we try to destroy her life and she never shes it from the other persons view. she is violent and always feels sorry for herself. She says our lives our better but when we try to involve her she just pushes us away. We give her phone, and stuff [not spoiling her] just to give her a little a push, to try make her feel involed but its just good enough " oh its rubbish" blah blah NEVER greatful for anything my parents have ever given her. My sister is very hardcore and tries to explain things, but my cousin just refuses to listen. My big sister just breaksdown in front of me each night, and i feel as if there isnt anything we can do anymore, my mum suffers from stress so we get angry when she decides to be horrible to our mum because we deal with the concequences. my cousin just thinks the whole world is around her. She just abuses people, is rude. my mum and dad have grounded her, had talks with her, given her things when she has done really good, made her centre of attention, made her write lines ANY PUNISHMENT YOU NAME IT WEVE GIVEN IT [except for abuse]. But it gets even more ridculous , she thinks we want to ruin her life - she sneaked off to her friends house and they got up to mischief and never even bothered to tell my mum - late at night...and then comes out with the most alful lies like " i went to get milk but my ankle got hurt and i went to the nearest house possible". And today has just gone over the line - she claimed she had three hours detention, WHICH WOULD NOT HAPPEN AT MY SCHOOL...but it turns out she was at a really unsafe park for three hours with people she doesnt really know and people we dont know! She just doesnt understand, - how can we help what is there to do? we've even made her stay at family, been nice to her, done everything we can - even physocologists. She is totally out of control...what can we do? Please do not "evaluate" her annd say maybe she does this because so and so....becuase i dont want to hear excuses for her stupid actions
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There are no excuses to be made for your cousin's behavior and I won't give any. There are reasons for your cousins behavior and neither you or your family can resolve those reasons of issues, only she can. A person doesn't change unless they want to change. Forcing and encouraging change can some times cause a person to become reluctant and rebellious.
No need to bring up what type of life she has had because you have already shared this, and those things that were bad have had a negative impact on her life, and she is still hurting from it. She's reaching out but isn't sure of how to grab on to the people who are reaching back out to her, which comes across as a lashing. She isn't accepting, acknowledging or admitting her behavior, so she isn't willing to change. Now, I understand what your family is doing to help her, but some times when people don't want to be helped, you have to cut them off to face the harsh world of reality and deal with the real. Certain situations cause a person to face reality and themselves and some people don't face self until some uncontrollable situation occurs causing then to face it.
Your parents are the ones who will need to decide on how to deal with your cousin. It's their house, their rules and if they are content with her using them, being unappreciative, and breaking those rules and disrespecting them, then that's on them. Hopefully, One day, they will get fed up with her mess, and will kick her out to allow her to take care of herself and find out what life is really about so that she becomes a little more greatful and appreciative. I hope that you continue doing what you are doing, and never fall to her standards and ways. Continue trying to be a role model for her by living your life the way you are supposed to and being respectful. Don't let her get to you, and cause you to feel negative. Please stay positive!
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