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after more than a year is it still love?
Hey im 17/f and my boyfriend is 18/m. We have been dating off and on for about a year and a half. I do love him very much. We just argue all the time and fight about the most little things. Everytime we try to break up we end up getting back together. I do love him but im not sure if im in love with him. We've been through alot together i just dont want to end up married and me realizing that im not in love with him. How do i know if i still am??? Can somebody please tell me the signs i would have. Thanks soo much!
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signs? you stated the signs yourself: "we have been dating off and on for about a year and a half." normally, i'm all for giving things a second chance. but, come on! how many times have you guys acutally broken up? i think it's time to end the relationship for good.
you're only 17. that's still pretty young. maybe you should both see others for awhile...a long, long while. it's the best way to gain some perspective, even though i think you've had it along.
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Oh girl! Man, I have been through this and to some extent still in it, after 17 years of on and off, marriage, divorce, on again, off again, proposal again, on on and on.
First, the definition of being in love - it's talking and communication with love. It's walking, dancing, riding, with love. It's arguing due to disagreements still respecting the fact that love is there, which also means it's not disrespectful arguments that carry out for days, and months. It's address it, correct it, fix it, or come to a median with it. Are you able to do this while arguing?
I am not sure of the reasons of the off and on thing for over a year; however I do know if it was due to lies, cheating, abuse or anything to do with cutting off to do better in life, then it's not going to work. People don't change unless they want to change, they lie about change. Lies, cheating, abuse and negativity isn't done out of love so how would be considered as being in love? make sense?
Also, it is so confusing to mistake being in love with being in lust. Upon getting back together, is it driven on feelings or sex? if it's just sexual, that isn't being in love, it's lust. Only you know the reasons that you two keep pulling back together. Upon being separated do you both see other people? If so, that means that internally there is really a desire to move on and upon moving on, you and/or he realize that the other person is missing something that you or he had. It could be something as simple as the way food is cooked. If it is sex that is not up to par with other mates when separated, it's lust.
The best way to know signs of being in love for you personally (because being in love doesn't just have general listings of identification as it differs with and in every person individually). list pros and cons girl. if there are more pros, differing from sex, look at these things now ask yourself are these things I can give to myself? get from someone else? felt with someone else? Cons - everything is sexual or , everything is negative- negativity isn't done with love or in love unless it's done to tear down to build up- you get where I am going with this?
Also, going through so much together really means so much and it also does so much. Either it lifts you or tears you down. Either you build trust from it, or you destroy trust from it. Being in love means that every realm of your being and his being - heart, soul, mind, spirit, body, and life is respected, negotiated, communicated, and bonded, touched, and breathed upon using love, feeling love, increasing love, building love and done in love.
I really hope this helps. Seems like you are already beginning to do some serious soul searching so that you are able to accept what is to come for your future in regards to this relationship and I commend you for that. More people should also dig deeply to find out where they are internally instead of just saying,and claiming that they are in love because they are used to each other or content in each other. I am so glad that you are seeking to know the difference for your own sakes. my email is sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. Feel free to email me if you wish. I will answer you and talk about this more if you want.
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