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Cole.
Cole is amazing. Just looking at him gives me the jitters and I'm smiling right now just thinking about him. We hae so many inside jokes, and some of the things I say only he gets because it's so I dont know it's so hard to explain. We have much in common it's creepy, like music. I love screamo, emo. Actually even Hannah Montana lol but just anything. Im always barrowing his shirts =]]. Well it's the end of the year, and he went around to have us sign something and I wrote down the lyrics to an ACDC song and it had "Call Me Anytime" because he really likes them and he was like I would call you if you gave me your number. So I did... and i dont know our relationship went from Best Friends to.. I dont know. Thinking of us as friends, I could do anything infront of him and wouldnt care. But if I think that I like him I like freak out. Were always doing something wacky, and even teachers included have asked if were a couple and it's a No. Im always telling him I hate him, and he's like you do not you couldn't live without me. So for a day I refused to talk to him and by the end he's like "Okay, okay I get it when you set your mind to something you do it. But I practicly died. Please talk to me!!" it was soo funny.
Cole is amasing... and I love his hair lol but there's something else that I can't really explain. Cole has ADHD, and I don't care at all. He has it under control and it's fine... but he's controlling. He's not always this hapy go lucky boy, he's worried about where I was, what I was doing and sometimes it scares me. I hang out with him all the time after school at his house [yes alone] and there so much fun. But I don't know he needs to know everything like If im in a bad mood he wants to know why which isnt necisarily a bad thing its just how he wants it to come out. He seems paranoid a lot, and I tried telling my friends and they like joked about it saying "He's only like that because he want to make sure your not with anyone else." But then why couldnt he ask me? Hanging out alone with him results in flirting, but hasn't gottenany further then leg touching. But I am always the one to stop it. Its not that I dont like him its just Im not ready I know im 14 but its like Ive seen girls THIRTEEN and pregnante and it scares me. Also I am a Christian, and im not even dating Cole when he does these things. My friends now, but none of Coles friends. [[Im not Girlfriend material because we dont have the same friends- what his friends say]]JERKS! but I donno it's not that Im afraid to be with Cole, but hes always asking Why i dont let him get any further and Im completely honest with him. But nothings stopping im from over powering me really [[not like he'd rape me]] but sometimes he does things he's not really aware of its weird. I dont really know how to explain it, but because if his parents jobs he's always alone so I like to be with him so he doesnt vegitate. I'' be spending a lot of time with him. I mentioned a lot in this so here the questions I asked.
-I am not Girlfriend material because Im fat. I weigh 223 pounds. But that doesn't stop Cole from wanting to fool around with me [[please dont be mean and be like I hate Cole! because he's amazing... his boy got right in my face a couple weeks ago and said he was gunna kick the shit out of me and that he could do that because I dont look like a girl and Cole was like You frkn touch her and I swear to God... so Hes sweet.
-I dont want to hurt his feelings when I say No. How do I explain it nicely?
-Im not afraid of Cole. Were such good friends, and I think I like him. But I know my parents wouldn't approve because he's not on parents #1 "Please date my daughter" list.
-Everyone thinks were dating, and he never denies it and my friends think thats a sign that he likes me. But... Im ugly why would he like me?
--infront of his friends he calls me ugly.
Anything will be helpful and I know this is extremely long but.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You shouldnt shut yourself down for what you look like, god made you the way you are,and that is beautiful. Yes, Cole sounds like a very sweet guy. It just sounds like he is very protective, which is expected since he likes you. Telling him No can be difficult since he is a guy, in order to make sure he understands what you are trying to say, you can talk to him about it one on one,explain why you feel this way. Just tell him you arent ready to go any further and in time you will tell him when you are ready.If he is sincere than he will trust your wishes. Your parents wouldnt accept him probably because they arent ready to see their daughter grow up and date a guy. They don't want you to move away from them (just meaning,not being at home as much). If they trust you they will learn that Cole is a nice guy and accept him for who he is. Maybe invite him over for a family dinner. Also, like i said earlier you are not ugly, and by the sounds of it he must be a really great guy not to notice what is on the outside (just meaning he doesnt just want you for just sex) and he sees you for your personality and style,what is on the inside. This is usually uncommon for guys. You could never be unlikable. The whole thing about calling you ugly behind your back is that he just doesnt want to wreck his status with his friends.Its a guy thing to hide their true feelings to their friends since they may feel they are going to be pushed down if they tell. If you feel self concious about Cole doing this (saying things behind your back) confront him and tell him that it bothers you.If he is proud to have you as a friend he should maybe say things to his buds like 'your the one missing out' instead of saying the ugly things just to impress his buds. I trust he will understand.
Hope this helps ;) Keep smiling :D
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