|
My Daughter
Hi Lisa
My question is about my 33 year old unmarried daughter who is becoming more and more difficult by the day. She does very well financially at her job and appears to have lost perspective even though I am a simple person and have brought her up to enjoy a simple but sophisticated life style.
I am a divorced mother of two girls who do not have much contact with their father and are quite resentful of his lack of involvement. I have tried to encourage them to meet him half way (although I did not proactively do this earlier when we were divorced and the girls were 8 and 10 years then)
She says she wants to settle down but criticizes every male she meets (often stating that they are mentally disturbed). She dislikes other countries she visits and is usually unpleasant if someone touches her seat or she feels they are too close. Most smells and sounds bother her and make her irritable. She is a work-out addict and is generally stressed at her job.
She is not available emotionally to anyone and communicates and participates on her terms . Her behavior is passive aggressive as she is pleasant on the surface in a controlled way when we are together.
Please help!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I know that the problem is your daughter and not other people. You know that this is so as well. The key reason she cannot relate to men is that she never knew how to relate to her father or deal with men because he was very cold to her.
If that's her first and only exposure to what men are like it's easy to see how it colored her perception. Maybe she does want to marry eventually or maybe she's just saying it to appease you but it won't happen until she deals with the resentment she has for them and other people.
I feel strongly that your daughter needs professional help from a psychiatrist and joint counseling with her father to repair their relationship or to be more exact establish a new one. She also needs help working on relationships and relating to others in general and how to deal with men.
She has to get help from a mental health professional to learn how to participate and communicate with others in a fashion where it's second nature or nobody will notice her or believe she's anti-social. You better believe it affects her work and life in more ways than you listed.
The psychiatrist will also help with her passive aggressiveness and check to see if she is depressed or suffering any kind of clinical illness such as depression which seems likely here. If she's pleasant on the surface and only to you something isn't right. She's in a world of hurt that needs undone.
Rather than urge her to get help you might as well demand it and take her to get it. This is the only way she will get better here as there's no way she'll look for help on her own. Point out that you can see that she's not functioning like a normal 33-year-old and you aim to help her fix it.
]
More Questions: |