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does he really want to marry me?
so my boyfriend sometimes says things like tomorrow we're going shopping...what kinda ring do you want? or you're perfect lets get married...or That finger would look even more beautiful with a big diamond ring on it...and stuff like that. is he just joking around or does he really want to get married? i'm 17 and he's 19 which is legal where i live but we've only been together for a few months and i deffiently don't want to get married but he says he loves me and blah blah blah...so i dont know what to think/say when he says stuff like this. I usually just laugh or something but yeah...it kinda weirds me out.
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Fair warning.
Bringing up marriage a few months into a relationship is a serious danger sign.
It shows that he's probably insecure
-if he mentions it alot, its because he wants you to respond in kind, and it means he's not secure in how you feel about him.
It shows he is incredibly needy
- He needs whomever he is with, its not about you being what he needs its about the co-dependency issue of it not mattering, as long as he has someone to cling to. If this weren't the case he wouldnt be bringing up marriage a few months in.
It shows he is very immature
- Marriage isnt something thats cute, or that you joke about. Its a commitment that shouldnt be brought up until you know yourself and your partner well enough to know you can work through things. As you've only been going out a few months, he obviously doesnt know you THAT well, and so it shows that he has some stupid idealized version of what a relationship is in his head and when you two DO eventually start to butt heads it isnt going to be very pretty because he isnt expecting it and has no clue how to handle that kind of situation.
He's young and inexperienced with dating. He doesnt understand the ebb and flow of relationships. I doubt he's dated anyone far past the honeymoon phase of a relationship before. Overall, right now, its harmless. And if you don't mind it too much, then you don't need to worry about it. But it's good to know where these things come from. In all likely hood he isnt actually wanting to or planning to get married soon, but he most definitely WOULD be willing to commit to something like that before HE should.
In other words, trust yourself, because you're the only one of the two of you with much common sense. If something doesnt feel right, you can't really trust his judgement on it right now. Date him for a while and maybe that will change.
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Hello. So if I were in your shoes, I would approach this situation in a few different ways. It's good to be subtle about something rather than harsh and hurtful. tact is something more people should attain.
First off... you must always remember.. words are just words. Maybe he is putting these ideas in your head, to see your reaction. See if maybe, youre feeling the same way he does. which mind you, is a very immature way of handling the situation. ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS!
Second of all... if he is being too overbearing or freaking you out.. its time you sit him down and tell him this talk of marriage is too much too soon. break it to him in the nicest way possible. tell him how you feel, but explain that youre not sure if marriage is the right thing to be focused on now.. use a simple excuse "we barely know each other.." Or... "marriage is serious. we've only been together for a few months"
Maybe he's just crazy about you.. or maybe he's just crazy. Either way, 17 is no age to discuss marriage.
Honestly, just talk to him, be straight forward... if he really loves you.. he will understand.
best of luck hun <3
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tell him it weirds you out. tell him to stop mentioning it or else it will never happen, and that IF and when youre ready you'll bring it up to him.
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well hunny no one can tell you if hes joking or being serious but you, sounds weird huh, but the thing i think you should do is just sit him down and ask him have a serious conversation about this bc marriage is a very important part of your life and if hun you dont want to get married then tell him your not ready like if you guys werent ready to be intimate then you should tell the other person bc youd rather enjoy it then just do it with one not wanting it. If he loves you, he'll give you time to think about it and then go from there but sweetie try to talk about it okay and good luck!
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