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what is going on
okay...soo there is this boy that i have never met but might be interested in dating, or just hanging out. But there are some problems...
-he has a girlfriend
-my lil brothers 16 year old friend
-my brother thinks i can do better
i know that if he still has a girlfriend then i wont go anywhere near him. But i just dont know..i have feelings sometimes like i like him, but then other times im just like you cant like him you dont know him...so what do you think is going on....
16/f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you like him and would like to get to know him better, it's pretty much that simple. The question is not about that though, it's about HER, isn't it? Well, fact is, it comes down to the old saying, all is fair in love and war. I'm not sure about war any more, but for love it is. Thing is, you didn't necessarily say you wanted him for a boy friend, in fact you say your unsure. That is actually a good place to be, you should always start off that way.
Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of contact to realize you like someone, it can be the way they hold themselves, the way they act with others, or just their smile. Start talking with him when you get the chance, expect nothing, just get to know him casually and let him get to know you too.
Male female contact does not always have to be about, "I like you and I want you to be my boy friend." That actually puts a lot of unneeded pressure on a person, the nature of relationships is to start at the bottom and work up, not at the middle and try to work up. To often they end up going down and you've already made a commitment.
Commitments are a harder thing to break then friendships, if you find out the person is wrong for you. Don't be afraid to go a little slower, always start at the bottom and work up, don't skip steps.
Tell your brother you just want to get to know him and you said you liked him, not that you wanted to marry him and have his children. Tell him if he starts anything, he better check between his bed sheets every night for nasty crawly things.
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well I think you like him and are pushing what you feel away. I know what you mean. I have this happen to me on a regular basis. I always like guys that my friends don't like or family never approve of. The truth is we will always be attracted to certain guys. But we will one day find someone better.
And the fact that he has a girlfriend is a red flag. Major red flag only because you might become more attached once you realize your feelings. The truth is guys who have girlfriends are the worst to find. I think you should let him be your brothers friend. He might interest you but don't cross that line once you do you will mostly get hurt.
Well I let you know that I just cut the ties to a guy I dated for a while. He led me on like he was single and just wanting to be good friend. After a while he told me he was beginning to have feelings for me. I knew he wasn't right for me, I remembered what he was like in high school and wasn't too sure. So I continued to see him. Then one day I looked at his facebook and it said he a girlfriend. Once I approached him about it he told me the truth and was it wasn't going the way he planned. He wanted to hang out with me as friend with feeling but wait until he dumped his current girlfriend. I decided to cut the cord. Its tough once you have started to establish feelings. And he still tries to contact me but the problem is I should have never let it go this far. Its better because if you just avoid it completely. You wont get hurt, neither will his girlfriend (which trust me will once you opened that door and allow him in) or him.
I was once told let the guys break other girls hearts, let them find themselves, let them figure out what they want and let them get hurt before he reaches you. Do the same with this guy. Let him mature and keep him at arms length never too close. He will one day become move available and you can be more interested in you.
I hope I can help. Let me know what happens. I will be happy to help you in any way. I am a pro in this department.
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