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drama.. boyfriend to enemy
well, me and my boyfriend broke up before, and we offically broke up. the deal is that after we broke up, i was talking to this one guy.. and let's just call him andy. and andy and i usually play around and all that stuff, and apparently my boyfriend who is my ex now, read through my comments. and he thought that me and andy was going on a date or whatever, and i told him that we weren't, also cause my best friend was going to go with us to our friend's orchestra concert. and then my ex said that it doesn't bother him, and it's my life etc. etc. and then later on he said "i have fake friends, my dad hates me, i don't want to see you with another guy, & etc." and later on he called me, and said "i fucking hate you.. why do you have to do this to me? i fucking love you.. i fucking cut myself!" and that made me feel worse.. and i cried so hard. and my friends was comforting me, then he messaged andy saying that he's going to meet him up with his friends at the orchestra concert to fight. and andy told me, and i cried even harder! i feel so upset and depressed, because i'm in the middle of it all. and i told andy i was so sorry, and he told me it was okay and for me to be safe. i don't understand why can't my ex leave me and my friends alone, we're over and done for. even if i told him... he would've still done it. and later on, he texted me saying "my friends are right... you're not worth it" and he said all of these things to me, that hurt alot.. but it didn't make me cry though.. but he did get me nervous later on. he said "my parents had to comfort me and now they hate your guts, and so does my brother" and he also got my enemies to comfort him also.. and then he texted me "for now on, life is going to be fucking hell for you. be prepared" and i don't know what he could do... so i'm very nervous, i'm not sure if he's threatening me with that, or he's actually going to ruin my reputation. he even swore to god to it, and he's serious when it comes to god.. people says that i have too good of a reputation for it to be ruined, but yet.. they don't know what it is.. and the worst thing he could say to ruin my life or something, is saying that i lost my virginity to him.. because i was being pressured into doing so. and i don't want anyone to find that out... especially my older sister, because she says if i ever did, she'll act like i never came into this world. and i don't want people to see me differently because i lost my virginity to him last year. you know everybody has their own opinions, and nobody knows that i lost it already.. because i can't take that risk of letting people know to get to my sister. i KNOW i have to tell my next boyfriend that i lost it already, but why does EVERYBODY have to know ALREADY?! so here are my questions:
1) what should i do if he does tell people i lost my virginity to him?
2) what can i do? because i don't want him to hurt himself either
3) what can i do to get him to leave me and my friends alone.
4) anything would help basically... i need helpful advice! PLEASE!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You neither confirm or deny, it is no ones business, "How dare you ask such a question", is your response. I know this is too little to late, but this is why you don't crumble under pressure to have sex. Had you not and spent the time getting to know him mentally, rather then physically, you would have discovered he was this kind of person.
That's what young people often do not understand. Sex bonds you to another person in a way nothing else can, it can never be broken and never be taken back. Believe it or not, that is what is at the root of the problem, sex is obsession.
Jealousy is a hard emotion to over come, if your ex keeps it up, tell him it is over and his jealousy and obsession with you are not healthy. Add that had you known that he was like this, you would never have dated him. Tell him that you're going to move on and he should too, if he can't he should seek mental help. If he threatens you with exposure, or uses this fact in anyway, tell him two can play at that game and he will find it very hard to get a date in this town after you start the rumor mill. Note: I am not telling you to actually start the rumor mill, but the threat of telling every girl in school that he has a really small penis, or he's lousy in bed, should be enough. He will retract any statements he made after you tell him this.
As to hurting himself, (another reason he should seek help, not seek you), it is not something you have any control over, so don't worry about it. It is not likely that he will do it and if he does, it actually works in your favor, (it shows those who appear to be siding against you that he is mentally disturbed.
Take the high ground on this if you can, be what he is not, maintain your dignity.
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1)if he tells people...theres nothing you can do about it. if people ask you about it...say that you were in love. thats it. its not like you went sleeping with him on the first date so your rep will be fine.
2)people say things to people that hurt them so they will have someone to feel bad for them. maybe he feels you dropped all your attention with him too quick and the only way he can get it back it by making you feel bad. so i bet he isnt cutting himself. check his arms or something when you get close enough and if he is cutting himself tell him thats no way to make things better and he needs to stop because you care about him and you dont want him to hurt himself.
3)ignore him. tell him hes being ridculus and making things worse between you 2. tell him he isnt being fair because hes trying to sabatoge your life just because you 2 arent together. hes being selfish. tell him you would love to be friends with him but only if he promises to stop.
hope i helped
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