One of the things about orgasm that is fundamentally black-and-white is that either you can have it or you can't.
I've never heard of a man failing to orgasm, but I have heard that a significant number of women seem unable to achieve orgasm. That is just a rundown of my knowledge of biology. I may be off. Forgive me if it's necessary.
The ideal way to achieve said orgasm is stimulation of the genitals, in particular the penis and the clitoris. In the case of female orgasm, some women are just biologically inclined to take longer than others to achieve the orgasm.
Other methods of achieving requires a more open mind, to explore all the possibilities. This link should help you with all your questions.
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