|
i think i'm ready
ok so i'm a 17 year old female and i'm still a virgin. I've had like several opportunities but it just wasn't right timing. I think I'm finally ready to have sex and I want to lose my virginity to caleb. how in the world do you bring that kinda thing up in a conversation? like how do you ask someone if they want to have sex with you? i'm not a slut so don't think that. it's just the timing feels right.
one more thing more for the guys.... is it really all about sex with you guys? just wondering. like... if an opportunity presents itself do you just take it?
i wanna know how that works cause i definatly dont wanna be turned down.....
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Oh, dear...it honestly seems as if you are giving into the peer pressure and media crap that you've been forcing to swallow down for years. I hope I am able to help you out!
Yes, I know it's your body and your decision. I am only making you aware of a few things that you may have slightly overlooked. I am simply concerned for your well-being.
Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with. You should not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. It's a very scary activity (you're naked and vulnerable in MANY ways during sex) and we're all pressured to do it in some way.
If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your best friend is a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
For some shocking STD facts, check this out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should really sit down with the person you choose to engage in sex with and discuss this matter. Look up some photos online together of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. Think of the POSSIBILITIES and make sure that you're truly ready to handle everything that can come from having sex.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.
Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you're dead set on losing your virginity, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Aside from that issue, the issue now arises with what you feel guys are truly like. Any self-respecting guy that was worth anything in this world would not just have sex with anything walking. I hate to say it but making yourself into a piece of meat does make you slutty. You are worth more than to offer yourself to be used and if the guy was actually a decent human being he wouldn't take such an offer.
Honestly you should think about the situation you're considering putting yourself in. Personally, I would never want to be intimate with someone who would take anything off the street. Good, decent guys are not all about sex, I promise.
You sound like you're going through a rough time right now with your self-acceptance. Know that you are worth more than sex. Your virginity should be cherished. Your body is not a toy and you shouldn't lend it out for other people's enjoyment. Please reconsider putting yourself into this position.
Trust me, one night of sex can really screw you over, especially when it entails losing your virginity. You set yourself up for so many mental and physical hang-ups it's ridiculous. Please protect yourself from going through heart-ache and future sexual issues.
I hope that I've helped you open your eyes to a couple of things and informed you of facts you may have overlooked.
]
You never mentioned how you know Caleb. That makes a big difference in the response. Is he your boyfriend? Is he your crush, a friend or just an acquaintance? is he just a classmate you are attracted to?
If you know him extremely well and or are dating you can tell him that you want to go to the next level and feel ready to be sexually active with him. If he's just a friend or a crush that you know I would keep this desire secret unless you begin dating later on. You can ruin what you have with him otherwise.
Is it really all about sex with guys? Well some guys are like that and others are mature enough to know that love, commitment and devotion and care about a person comes foremost.
Will you get turned down? Well, you might and you might not. He might just tell you that he's not ready or thinks it would be a really bad idea that would screw your relationship up. He won't scold you or make you feel like shit for bringing it up. He may be flattered that you want your first experience to be with him. A lot of guys would.
Would a guy just take any opportunity for sex? Some would and others wouldn't it depends on his beliefs and values or the circumstance in which it was offered for example a no string attached we don't have to deal with each other again deal or where nobody expects anything more romantically in the future.
The one thing I have to tell you is that you really, really, really need to think this out and not do it on a whim and that your feelings are right and the relationship and situation is. If I were you I would wait until you were older or over 18 to have sex. You have the rest of your life to experience it but need to be mature and ready.
If you do decide to go ahead with it make sure your partner is going to stick around long afterwards and protect yourself. It's actually not legal to have sex until you reach 18 but we can't stop anyone. Be ready, be prepared and make sure staying safe comes first.
]
More Questions: |