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My Girlfriend and I
Heres the deal,
my girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 months now. Shes 20 and treats me wonderful but there is one problem, she never trusts anyone im with and is really sensitive. She says she trusts me but not them, but I feel thats equivalent to not trusting me. She always needs reassurance! How much do you need for being an adult? Also she always asks if im breaking up with her, and it drives me to the point where im about to say yes. Shes on prozac for her emotions but I dont think it always works. Don't get me wrong, I love her, and I know she loves me, but I constantly tell her she needs to stop and we have in depth conversations about it. I feel like ive gotten no where. I need help :(
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i am a girl and i have the same problem i always need to be reminded of how much my BF loves me and he gets tired of it sometimes but because he loves me he reminds me of how much he loves me but im just to dumb to believe it and its because he loves me that he reminds me every couple of weeks so i think that you GF has probably been hurt in the past by a jerk or she is really self-consiouse about her self try telling her that shes beautifull and make her feel good about her self instead of getting frusterated keep calm and explain to her your feelings for her and that you would never do anything to hurt her take her out and buy her something to make her feel special she would love that. i hope my advice helps and i hope everything works out for you guys.
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It sounds as if your girlfriend has some inner issues she needs to deal with. There are many possibilities as to why she is reacting the way she does; some of the possibilities are:
1. She's been hurt in her past and she feels it will always happen this way. Many people develop bad hang-ups from past relationship issues.
2. Someone she was very close to was hurt by their partner (ex: Father left mother) and she fears it will happen to her too. She may not even be aware of her own fear if this is the case.
3. You have been unfaithful and she is aware of it (not necessarily to her either; if you had a previous relationship and you were unfaithful and she found out it could be something she is dwelling on).
4. She has such a poor self-image of herself that she fabricates reasons as to why you will leave her. This also probably comes from past experiences and you will have to gather a lot of information to understand and help this issue.
Communication is key really. Open the lines and sit down with her to discuss what is going on in her head. Agree that she will discuss any little negative thought that comes into her head as soon as it pops in there. The sooner you know about the feelings, the sooner you can reassure her. The more time she dwells on the thought, the more severe it's going to become.
After you get an idea of what has happened and why she thinks the way she does, you can work on improving that. I'd probably start off by reassuring her that you are different from the other people that have acted badly in her past. She really needs to be aware that you are not them and this whole ordeal is offending you.
She needs to realize that you love her, and that people who love you do not hurt you. Be prepared for tears and screaming if you two get into some deep past of her that is overwhelming. Encourage her to detail everything so you can understand the way she thinks.
You may need to alter your behavior if it's extreme. If she honestly feels like you're spending more time with another person then you should talk to her and consider cutting down the time with the other person (not cutting the person completely out though). Adjust yourself to altering some things but let her know that there is nothing to worry about. Never completely discontinue something that truly is not bad as she needs to realize that you ARE trustworthy.
Let her know how all of this makes you feel too. She needs to know that her behavior is destructive to your relationship. You may even want to include the part about feeling like breaking up sometimes because of strain on the relationship. Let her know that you really need her to put a conscience effort into changing her habits and communicating about her thoughts more to you. She needs to know that you NEED her to improve because you love her.
Anyway, like I said, before anything can be solved you will need to sit down and communicate about this a lot. This will be a long process, most likely. She sounds like she has a lot of issues that she is needing to work out.
I hope all goes well with you and your girlfriend. Remember to communicate as much as possible about every thing that comes into your heads.
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