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something happened a good while ago...
something happened about 3 months back. my best friend (brian) and this half friend of mine (ray) were hanging out one night and had sex. ray is 13, brian and i are 15.
well, i didnt find out about it until about a month later. and i kept it to myself because i found it out from another friend (kyle). well, finds out kyle had promised brian that he wouldnt tell me, but he still did. and brian and i liked eachother at that time. and i was pretty confused and hurt because i thought he'd liked me. i mean, its even hard to type this out right now. and this happened at least 2 or 3 months ago!
but kyle had made me swear not to tell brian that i knew. so i promised. well, it was driving me crazy because i wanted to know if it was true or not. well, kyle got mad at brian and i because we lied to him about hanging out. so hes out of the picture. well i asked brian about it and he made it seem like it was a lie, at first. so i yelled at kyle. and he was just all "whatever. i hate you. blahblahblah" and im just like "ok, screw that" and then brian told me it WASNT a lie! and i was 3 seconds from tears. i wanted it to be a lie so badly, but it wasnt. and right now all i know about it is that they had sex and there was no oral involved. but i want to know EVERY SINGLE DETAIL OF THAT NIGHT. i wanna know what she was doing. i wanna know what was going through his head. i wanna know why he did it. and thats not even half of it, sadly. but i dont want to talk to him about it. im so afraid of what the answers might be...and we've been going out for a month.
i dont wanna bring it up to him. and i dont want to talk about it with him. he said hes always up to talk about it, but im still iffy on that. im afraid i might make myself look stupid or something.
but im just wondering how i bring it up to him when i DO decide to ask him. how will i bring it up? what do i say? how do i keep myself from breaking down? sorry this is really long, but its a really long story.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The thing is.. you're never going to know the details... and since it already happened you can't change it.
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