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Boyfriend and his mom and me drama! please help im deseprate
Ok well ive been dating this guy for a week and a 2 days. Hes my bestfriends cousin. were both 13. Well continuing with the story me and him clicked immediatly. We both talked so much on the phone. Both of our parents didn't know. I know mine wouldn't mind. Well his were different.
He has a sister. So the sister me and him one day made up a plan, the plan was everytime i called his phone ( house phone he doesnt have a cell phone yet), and if the mom picked up i would ask to talk to his sister, then his sister would give him the phone to talk to me. So this went good for about 6 days or so. Well my friend was so happy i was dating her cousin, and her cousin was dating her friend she made a cute website about us it had seprate pictures of me and him, and a message box were us three could send messages. mostly him and me. yeah it was like cute messages like i love you. nothing sexual or anything i mean we're only thirteen. so the website was like nothing bad. but then somehow the mom saw the website! the mom didn't even know we were going out. Well she was pissed. I talked to my boyfriend earlier in the day. But then my cellphone was dying so i told him i would call him back. So like two hours later i called him back and his mom picked up! I said may i please talk to (sisters name). But the mom said in a not so nice voice, shes not here right now shes at baseball practice i dont know! So i said oh ok. Then the mom said i take my sons pictures off that website i didn't get permission and he's only 13. ( she said it really nasty), so i said in a normal nice voice " its ( her nieces/my bestfriends/his cousins website) because it was. So she said very nasty, "then i'll talk to my niece!"
So i was getting a little worried about my boyfriend and me.
I called him the next day but no one picked up. He usually picks up the phone.
But last night (wednesday) i called at around 7:30 and asked to speak to the sister very calmly and respectfully and the mom said whos calling and i said (my name). Then the mom said quickly shes not here right now. So by this point i was getting pretty pissed now i didn't talk to my boyfriend in two days! We both our very much in love with eachother. So i called my bestfriend aka her niece the second i got off the phone with his mom. So my bestfriend called the house and asked to speak to the sister and the mom said she was there and let my bestfriend talk to her! My bestfriend said Her cousin/his sister said he wasn't home.
Im getting really upset by this cituation.
-i didn't talk to him since monday its thursday now!
- Im in love with him very much. He loves me very much too.
- Hes never on aim that much anymore so i can't even talk to him on there.
- I think the moms making sure me and him don't talk.
I last SAW him saturday. So im going to see if my bestfriend can get us to hang out together. But thats in two days i need to talk to him hopefully by tonight! Please dont saw to break with him because we both really love eachother and also because i couldn't break up with him because i can't even talk to him.
SO PLEASE HELP ME AND GIVE ME ADVICE! I NEED IT!
-teezee418 :(
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Okay, first of all, the last answer was very good. Now you have been dating for nine days, you are 13 and you are in love? I doubt it, i mean lust, sure, really liking him, sure, but i don't think you are in love. You may be but i am not sure.
I would first, call the mother and apologize. Then don't call for like a week. I know it will be hard to not see your "love" but you can deal with it. Take the pictures off the website and delete the website, its the best thing to do. Then about him not having a cell phone and him not going on the computer, try asking him in roughly a week to go on aim a little more or asking his mother about a cell phone or something of that sort. I know it may not be what you were looking for but this is the best thing i could think of. hope i helped!
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Well, I know you won't like this, but I can kinda see her point of view. I mean, you guys have been hiding your relationship, lying to her, and now her son's pictures are posted on the internet.
As a mother, I would be mad at you guys, too. Actually, mad is an understatement.
I don't like things hidden from me. If my son wanted to date at 13, and I didn't feel he was of appropriate age, I'd be furious to have him hide a relationship behind my back. I'd rather honesty. I'd rather be mad because him and his girl are telling me they are going against my wishes than to be in a fury over them going behind my back.
I hate being lied to. Even if I didn't want my son to talk on the phone to a girl, I'd much rather the girl be truthful as to who she's calling for. I may be more apt to give approval to phone conversations, in time, if they give me the respect of being honest with me. I'd be furious if a girl called for my son, but lied by asking for his... brother... because he doesn't have a sister. Or to lie to me by having friends call and ask for him.
I do NOT trust the internet. I do NOT want pictures of my children posted on websites without my consent. It is for their own protection, considering there are many perverts on the internet, and I worry "Lord only knows what perverts do with pictures of children." I'd be furious with the person who uploaded my son's picture without my ok.
I wager his mother isn't too far off from my way of thinking on that subject.
I can see how she would be angry with you about the pictures online, considering all of the prior dishonesty she's recently discovered. (Discovered via her son's uploaded photo, by the way...)
So. What can you do?
Again, from a mother's view point, this is what I would appreciate:
Call their house. This time, don't ask for anyone, don't get anyone to call for you.
Speak to his mother.
Sincerely apologize to her for all that has happened- the hiding, the lies, the website (even though it's not yours, you need to remember the website was how she discovered the deceit.)
If I were her, I'd appreciate the apology, as well as the showing of respect for me.
You have to admit, you kids haven't been very respectful of her. Right? Right.
It may not change her mind about you guys dating right now, but it sure would help her realize you aren't as bad of a girl as she surely thinks right now.
I know, I know. That's not probably good enough. But you know what? It's a step in the right direction. You've obviously got WAY off on the wrong foot with this woman. You need to do your part to make that right.
Then go from there.
If you don't want to do it because you want to make it right, then you need to sit and think hard about it until you realize that she DESERVES an apology. Not just from you, but from her son and his cousin. But don't worry about them- make sure YOU apologize.
ygs-29/f
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