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Are my inlaws being unfair?
Me and my hubby have always wanted to go to the beach. But never really had the money. last summer before my mother in law went she asked if we wanted to go. We told her yes but we dont have the money. Well my father in law agreed to pay for our hotel and all. A week after we got back he asked my hubby for all of the money back. Even though he didnt tell us before we went we had to pay him back. We finally got him paid back.
My sis in law can do the same but she dont have to pay back a dime. She can afford the whole trip too.
This is just one example. This has been going on for years and its just plain unfair.
What should I do?
Thanks
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The old double-standard strikes again. Parents often spoil one child, usually the female and expect the son to be responsible. Unfair...maybe, but that part is not relevant. Actually, they may be doing you and your husband a favor. Do you really want to be married to someone that is a spoiled child who will always be dependent upon his daddy and mommy? Of course not, so get over the fact that they want to spoil their princess. It is not doing her any favors in the long run either. Be proud of making what you and your husband will accomplish together in this short lifetime and don't look for anyone else to pay your way. Be clear that unless it is a true gift, you don't want it. Now, release all grudges..they are not healthy. Focus and appreciate what you and your hubby share together...something no one can give you or take away.
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Yah, it's unfair. There's nothing you can really do about it. They are your husband's parents, so he should be the one to do something about it.
Don't fret and stew over what they do or don't do for their daughter. That's between them. Stewing over it does nothing but raise your blood pressure.
Best bet all together? Next time, thank them kindly for offering and decline. It's more hassle than it's worth and only causes hardship.
Remember that if you can't afford it to begin with, you can't afford to pay them back. They obviously expect you to do that, even when it seems they are offering a gift. Right?
ygs-29/f
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wow, that is unfair. They should not "give" and then take it back, without telling you.
I think that the next time, they offer to pay for something you should simply tell them that you ould love to accpt their money, but it's a hassel to pay them back. That you would rather save up for whatever it is than worry about giving it to you.
I don't know what else you can do. If you want, you can discuss this with them, but I don't know how you would approach them.
The best answer that I think is to just not take their money, and ignore their "help".
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