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I am being stalked.
A few years ago I met this guy in college and I had sex with him. He was a terrible guy though and I wanted him to leave me alone. He did for the rest of college and for the last two years. But I got a call yesterday from one of his friends. They said, "Amber. Do you remember Ronnie?"
"Yes," I said, "the guy that was a complete and total mistake?"
"Yes, yes. He wants to get back together with you."
I hadn't even thought about Ronnie in two years and I hadn't seen him since college. I don't want to date this horrible man. He is really bad you don't even want to know some of the things that he has done. So I said, "No. I don't want to date him or even see him again. I don't want to put up with his bull shit."
Ronnie's friend said, "He is very passionate about you don't be that way."
"The only reason that he wants me back is because everyone he dates realizes that the only reason he wants to date them is to fuck them."
I hung up after that. But today, I got seventeen calls from Ronnie's friend and an e-mail that I can't put on this website. What should I do? I don't want this to turn violent. I need advice.
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well it seems to me that maybe ronnie and his friend have some.....problems. and this could turn into something bad. i would tell him to leave me alone. i wouldnt use strong lanauge i would just plain tell him that he needs to leave me alone or i will call the cops. because for all you know this ronnie could turn this into a real stalker problem where he follows toy around and stuff. or it could turn into him doing something to you. Im not trying to scare you or anything im just trying to help. but it seems as though this guy could be dangerous. you wouldnt know because you havent seen him in so long. so first i would tell ronnies friend to leave you alone. and if that doesnt work then i would suggest that you go to the cops. get a background check on him to make sure he hasnt dont anything to harm anyone so that you are sure that he wont hurt you in any way. iv had a problem kind of like this. and it didnt turn into anything because i made sure i reported it because i wanted to make sure i and everyone around me was safe.
hope i helped =]
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If it is Ronnie's friend who is pressuring you, tell him very clearly, in an e-mail (e-mail is fantastic for these things btw, because it leaves a permenant electronic record for the police, if they need to become involved) that you do not wish to speak to Ronnie ever agian and that you don't not want him calling you about this or e-mailing you about this anymore. Tell him that you have been perectly clear with him and his behavoir is now agressive and frightens you, and that if continues to harrass you about this subject any more you will need to get the police involved.
Ronnie's friend might think he is just being playful. He needs to be informed this is dead serious and not funny.
If it is Ronnie himself who sent the e-mail, tell him the exact same thing.
Now for the harder part: Tell your closest friends, parents, roommate and possibly employer. You don't need to be explicit, but tell them there is a guy who is harassing you and you are getting a bit fearful. Let them know that you are handling it and are prepared to go to the cops as soon as that line is crossed, but in the meantime you'd apperciate it if they would be espcailly diligent in not letting strangers around or giving out any of your personal information, no matter how well-meaning the person might seem.
Most abusive males (well, and females for that mater) try to isolate the victim, and keep them too afriad or shamed to speak up. The best thing you can do is this: One, clearly state to him that you will not tolerate this behavoir any longer. Two, save all voicemails and e-mails for the police, and three, tell everyone close to you what is going on.
As soon as Ronnie or his friend cross the line by threatening you, contining to call and e-mail excessively despite being told to stop, or showing up at your home or workplace, simply call the cops and explain to them what is going on.
In the meantime, just be strong, and lean on the people who care about you for support.
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