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Complicated and Confusing Breakup
my bf and i have been fighting and having problems because im moving in 2 months. i became nagging and realized it and kept bringing up arguments and stuff and he didnt want a break or to break up he told me he really, really didn't. soo yesterday i was like ok lets completely forget everything and start over entirely. then today at church in between services (we usually serve at the 1st one then hang in between then go to service at the 2nd one) he didnt talk to me even tho we havent hung out in forever. hes always saying he wants to see me more and everything and just last night we were saying we were gonna makeout in between (we kinda do that...hehehe) but then he was blowing me off and like im staying here and he was playing pool and stuff. then i was like i think its over cause he wasnt taking to me and being a hypocrite! and last weekend we broke up for like 5 hours then got back together so w/e. then i was like so why werent you talking to me in between service? he was like ummmm well i kinda have lost interest in you. and he and i have been bff's for 2 yrs and just the night before he said he loved me and we talked for over an hour.
then i started crying and trembling and was like i hate you. i hate you more than i have ever hated anyone before in my life. don't you ever talk to me again. and i was probably kinda scaring him but i couldnt control myself that was the meanest thing he has ever said to me. like i was some game or object even tho i did everything i could to be a good gf and keep him happy. anyway then i calmed down and talked to him and he was like its over. i dont love you anymore. we cant get back to where we were before. i cant satisfy you and give you what you want. (because i kept complaining he wasnt making time for me) at first i was like okk but we can make it through this and do this cause before he was the one saying we could make it. but then i was like you know what-ok. ok fine then ya we can just be friends. and i left.
then my friend told me this evening(shes dating his older brother) he was sleeping upstairs then came down cause his parents called him for dinner and like he wouldnt eat and was really anxious to go to youth group. she was like why do you want to go it's gonna suck and no ones gonna talk to you they are gonna be mad at you. and stuff like that. then at youth group he saw me and like walked pass me twice just like would look over at me and leave the room. it was weird. i didnt talk to him or anything. then after the message this cool jr was like talking to me and helping me with my bf and i's breakup and i was sitting with him and talking to him. at first we were gonna sit right near my ex bf but then i was like lets sit farther down lol and my ex bf knew. and he saw me talking to this guy. and first off my ex bf knows i dont talk to guys that much but that i am flirty. and he [used] to get jealous but i d k since we arent tecnically together as of like 14 hours ago. soo i was talking to this cool boy and hugged him and everything and my ex bf kept like staring at us and like watching us!!! it was weird i was like o m g hes looking at me! probably cause i was already talking to another guy. and my friend was like looking at him and staring at him while his back was turned once. and my friend was making me laugh and i touched his sides once because he was trying to pickup my friend and put him in the trash (as a joke) and so i was like pulling him my hands on his sides and my bf i kno saw me laughing and talking with him and idk about the hugging and touching him but i think he might have been watching me all night sooo who knows??
so what i want to know is 1st) what do you think of our breakup?? my ex bf was like god wants me to serve him and he wants us to breakup thats why we keep fighting (he and i are both strong christians) and god is calling me to do something else even tho 3 months ago god was calling us to date according to my ex bf. maybe hes right cause i am leaving but i had wanted to make the most of my last 2 months here.
2nd)what was with my ex bf's behavior????? does he still like me? i still love him but he said he doesnt love me but i dont believe him cause he said what he said last night was true and last night he said he loved me so how can that change in 8 hours??
3 rd) was he jealous?? even tho we werent dating but i was already talking to new guys? and i gave the guy my # and hes a couple grades older(im a freshman so is my bf, my friend is a jr) and my ex bf's older bro and older bro's gf know i gave that older guy my # so there is a good chance he may find out. cause im almost certain they will tell him. and also his older bro and older bro's gf found me crying today and helped me so they saw how much he hurt me. and im guessing told him.
*****soo ya does he still like me or something and why do you think he didnt want to date me anymore? because he didnt want to keep fighting? cause thats what i think cause his parents fight and so he hates fighting and never yells or anything.
also 4th)do you think if he got jealous of that older guy and i that he would want me more or just get mad at me?
thanks so, so much!! and im sorry its so frickin loooong!! i will rate :)
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Ok, I really hope this helps you.
First off, your breakup is messy. Its especially messy because they are so many emotions between the two of you. The disappointment of you leaving, loosing the person you love, having to leave the person you love.... just some emotions that are involved in this which make it so incredibly complicated. Sometimes a time does come along when things have to change and this may be one of those times. You have to decide that. And just so you know you are more than able to make the most of your last two months there. You do not need you ex to do that.
Second, I think that yes you may have hurt your ex by being so friendly with the other guy, I think maybe to him its as though he doesn't matter and you are more than able to move on from him, like you supposedly showed him and I think that bothered him. After all the guy can't just forget the feelings he had for you over night.So in relation to him liking you, no one but him can really answer that, but again it is possible because feelings can't just get turned on and off.
Third, I would have to say that yes, he possibly was jealous with you with the other guy. To him it must seem like you just forgot about him and I think you paying attention to some one else may cause him to feel jealous.
Then finally. I think he wanted to end it, because well you are leaving and that has caused strain on your relationship, and like you said he doesn't like fighting, so maybe he ended it so you could leave with things between you on a reasonably ok note.
And I think making him jealous is not the way to go about getting him to want you. You need to respect him enough to make up his own mind of what he wants and does not- with out added influences on your half.
Its hard to let go. I know. But sometimes its for the best and with you leaving a whole new chapter is opening for you and you never know what can happen then... Just stay positive and try and spend your last 2 months having fun, and remember see your friends they are after all one of the most important things a person can have.
I hope this helped!
:)
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Ok whew Im glad I made it through that. Now first I think that maybe the breakup was BECAUSE your leaving. Most men dont know how to deal with change or with loss. He probably broke up with you so he wouldnt get any closer to you and eventually end up hurting even more for loosing you. 2nd If he told you he loves you then more than likely he does. People usually respond to loss or losing something in different ways. Anger or resentfulness being one of them. I doubt he meant what he said about loosing interest in you. 3rd All MEN GET JEALOUS!! If he broke up with you to spare both of your feelings when you leave and he still has strong feelings for you then what you did was probably really really hurting him. Its a classic move from a woman to try to make the ex see what there missing in a sense but rarely do the women ever realize how hurtful that can be. and 4th I would say a little of both. Hes going to mad at you for doing it and hurt but also wish he was the one making you laugh. If he comes from a home that fights all the time then I can see why he doesnt like to do it. More than likely he doesnt want his relationship to end up like that. But a big part of a relationship is arguments it defines you as a couple everyone argues from time to time. Over all I would say he does still have feelings for you but hes pushing you away to save himself some heartache. Just try to talk to him as a friend and not an exgirlfriend. See where that road takes you..
Hope this helps a little sorry so long
Amanda
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