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Uhh whats happening.
okayyyyyyyyyy;;
so, one of my best friends that ive known ever since the fourthhh graddeee is hanging with one of my ooothhheerr best friends.
like they met from me- how do i explain it.
but they hang out all the time now.
like my fourth grade friend lets call her - Lily- and my other best friend- Mary-
Lily would seem to be more excited when she sees mary.. like lily would be all dull with me.. and voice her opinions with me and sometimes even treat me like crap; but its really normal because she can be a selfish person.
but with lily; she lauughhhs, she goes with whattevver mary wants with out an opinion on it.
Lily lives right across the street from me and i always invite mary over;
so when mary is over shes like ": want to hangout with lily?"
im like " uh.. ? uh sure?"
-_-
when theyre together me and mary always get in fights because shes always so FAKE when shes with lily.
BOTH OF THEM ARE.
ughhhhhhhhhhh
so to prove my point more;
theyre hanging out together right now.
and i wasnt invited.
....
its always like a three thing
i dont know whos taking who away.
lily is taking mary away
and mary is taking lily away.
like; when im with them.
i just feel like crap.
nothing i could do to make them interested.
im nothing.
they seem so happy in "their" world...
i try not to think about it because it just makes me so made and depressed because i dont think i can really do anythign about it?
any advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
ok first of all, i'm so sorry you're in that position. i gotta admit, girls can be the best of friends and the biggest bitchess in the whole world.
if i were you, i'd just try to take some time to think it over and if you REALLY still want to be their friend (or at least one of them!) then you NEED to talk to them and voice your opinion. you can't just keep going on ignoring it as if though it's not a big deal. you have feelings too, and they can't just push you around and treat you like dirt.
talk to each of them separately. but i mean TALK. not email, IM, wall post, message, comment, or text. if you can't get together in person without initiating a hang out (you wouldn't want her to be like, "uhh she invited me over to talk about THIS?"), then PLEASE call her. like make sure she's not doing anything one night (like if you have a mutual class with her, just casually be like, "do you have a game / practice tonight or a lot of homework?") and if she says, "nahh not really" then call her at like 7 or 8 (usually when most people finish homework and are relaxing, chilling out) and talk to her. just be like, "look i know you and lily (if you're talking to mary) are really good friends, but sometimes i feel a little left out and hurt when you guys ignore me. could we possibly make a compromise?" try to avoid saying "you" as MUCH as possible. stick to the words "i" and "we" (or preferably "WE" all together). if she seems not to care, she's not worth it.
try it with both, but not in the same night. don't make it a big deal. don't get into an argument. if she starts fighting, say that it's not what you intended. tell her how much you value her friendship and would prefer if you guys could just find a solution.
<3
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dont get mad or depressed because it isnt worth it. You dont need to be treated like that. It is their loss and i know all of this is cliche but trust me its true. If they are going to treat you like crap you dont need them anyway. Its just not healthy. But i would try and talk to them seperately..tell them how you feel.
-hayley
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