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jealousy, please help!
my "best" friend, who has been my "best" friend since 5th grade, which is about three years, moved somewhere else last year. she and this girl named sarah weren't close, until this year, when they started talking. they are now really good friends, and they both seem to have so much more fun together than she would with me. like, sarah is into guys, and so is my "best" friend, and they talk about it a lot. sarah has a boy friend so i guess it makes their friendship more interesting. also, ive told her so many times, she either denies everything or just says sorry. but nothing works. im really jealous, like seriously jealous. its making me hate sarah for no reason at all. i dont know what to do. PLEASE dont tell me to talk to her, well, if you do tell me to, please write out exactly what to say, because ive tried so many ways. i dont wanna tell her im jealous, unless i really have to. and i always send my "best" friend emails telling her how i feel, but she seems to not care. i wanna tell her, "okay, this is why i dont talk to you much. please dont get mad at me. nina (nina is my "best" friend), im jealous of your relationship with sarah. and i think that its been causing me to treat her differently. ive tried so many times to have a friendhsip liek you guys, but i dunno, i feel like our friendship is fake. like we have nothing left of us anymore, or hardly anything. you may not feel that way, but i do. i know that ive sent you so many emails telling you how i feel, but ive been being honest about everything. i cant let this let me down, because it is, and it has been. and im sorry, i am, im just jealous, and i dont know what to do about it."
SHOULD i tell her that? tell me what to say please or tell me what to or what not to say from that thing i said up there.
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The truth of it is like this. You are still
friends. It is almost impossible to maintain
the same level of friendship with someone you
don't see all the time. You have to move on
to a different kind of friendship for now.
She's done this, you haven't. You are jealous
but there isn't anything your friend can do
about it. She sees her other friend everyday.
They go to school together and do the same
things.
Don't get mad and give up your friendship
over this. Just realize it isn't ever going
to be the same between you. I know when
someone moves we think everything will stay
the same but it can't.
Find another friend to do everything with.
You will be much happier. Keep in contact
with your old friend. She will always be
your friend. :)
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babeee, i know how you feel.
but honestly, there are SO MANY girls out there who could be your REAL best friend. why would you want to fake it? if she used to be your best friend, it doesn't mean she still is. i know it hurts a LOT, trust me, femalefriends can KILL if they wanted to, but if nina isn't going to be a true friend to you and respond to your emails, let alone show any concern at ALL, why should you put so much effort into the friendship? friendships, along with all relationships, are a two way street. one person gives 50% and the other person gives 50%. it's balanced. a best friend is supposed to be there for you when you need her, to help you when you want to talk, to laugh with you when you're happy, and be able to guide you to make good decisions so you don't hurt yourself. ask yourself, "has nina really done anything for this relationship, or am i always the one to initiate it?" people make mistakes. but if she's not willing to admit hers and / or apologize, you need to find someone else.
you've done all you can. you've tried emailing her. no matter what you say, she won't look back... she's best friends with sarah now. don't care about her anymore if she doesn't care about you. don't ignore her or be mean to her or talk badly of her, but don't look to her as your best friend anymore.
best friends are just lies... you think you've found a best friend only to realize you haven't. i know i've gone through at least two or three "best" friends, (all of which i'm still friends with!) but it's not a big deal not to have ONE SINGLE female to always be there for you. sometimes, that's just not possible. yes, it's nice, but i've learned the hard way that no one can be trusted except yourself. so the faster you realize it, the less you'll be hurt in the future. share good times with friends, but don't work up a sweat just cause you don't have ONE SINGLE best friend, cause i know i don't. i have a few really really good friends. and it works out well for me because
a.) no one person knows everything, so no one could backstab me even if they wanted
b.) each person has their own strength. one friend makes me laugh, one friend comforts me, one friend can keep a secret, etc.
c.) i won't lose everything i have by losing one of my friends. i depend a lot on myself, this website (hahahah) and my diary.
i hope i helped & feel free to inbox me, sweetie.
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