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humorist-workshop
Major Issues
Okay here's the story so far...
I met this chick in Junior High. We became best friends and had remained that way til the end.
I started highschool this year. Me and my friend only had one class together so we talked as much as we could. But inevitably we didn't have the time to talk very often by the end of the first Trimester (we have trimesters not semisters here)
We had talked about me being bi and her being bi-curious...And of course it just happend that me and my girlfriend of two years had JUST broken up when my friend asked me out. We went out for about two weeks and had to break it off b/c well, we were friends! Not meant to be lovers!
ANYWAYS...
So the trimester ended. We barely talked anymore. She was having issues with her family and some "friends" of hers. She had told her ex boyfriend that on the next school cancelation she was going to end it all AKA kill herself...Now she and I both had said stuff like that often b/c well, we were a wreck! So people were used to her saying that and didn't take her seriously. She killed herself right before the winter homcoming...two weeks before X-mas. four weeks before her 15th b-day. It was on a cancellation that she did it. It broke me into pieces. The one person whom I confided in,practically 24/7, just left me. She left me behind!!! I've been a wreck ever since(more of a wreck then when I met her!)My friends are worried about me killing myself now and they try to help me but they really just make it worse...Now I know I could Never kill myself, but there's this overwhelming feeling of dred in me and I just want to die(not kill myself, just never wake up. Thats all.) I don't know what to do b/c the counselors want to pop me full of pills and everyone else just is annoying the hell outta me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm against taking depression drugs. But do you have any advice that could help me cope...I'm just sick and tired of crying myself to sleep. Tears dont accomplish anything. Help?
**sorry that it is soooooo long of and question**
Abra Apocalypse F/15
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Why are you against drugs for depression? If they'll make you feel better and end your sadness by all means take them even if you don't think you need it. It would appear to be what you need right now.
Counselors especially at school or therapists who are not medical doctors are usually full of shit and know nothing about mental illness or depression. Their advice is pills because that's about all they know about this sort of problem.
What you need to do is see a shrink (forget the stigma just do it) and tell him/her that you feel guilt etc. etc. and pain, sadness over the suicide of a friend and sometimes feel so overwhelmed that while you wouldn't kill yourself that sometimes you wish you didn't have to wake up.
They will assess your problem and find a solution to it and if and only if they think you'll hurt yourself they'll ask you to stay 72 hours in the hospital. A mild anti-depressant and the help of this kind of doctor will help you more than you know to move forward and enjoy life. Isn't that what your friend would want?
Sadly, this was what she truly needed and didn't get to reach out for. You need to do this for your mental health and to get back to enjoying normal activity.
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