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I'm moving schools and I really need advice on what to do
Hi... I'm a guy and I'm 15, and I really need advice on how to deal with the situation I'm in. For the past few years now I've been moving schools, and starting over with making new friends and building a new social life. I'm popular at school and I'm really good socially, and now when I move schools, about after 2 months I start to get popular, but right now I'm in the 9th grade, and I'm moving schools again. I don't like the school I'm at right now because it's private, and the social life sucks there. I was popular earlier in the year, but now not as much because I don't even try anymore, and people have kind of forgotten about me. But now I'm going to a knew school next year and I'll be in the 10th grade. It's a public school, which is more what I'm used to. There are A LOT of kids there, and it's the best public school in the state. I'm worried about going there though because I realize that every time I've moved before, I've had some kind of friend or connection before the school started. This is a totally new school, and even though I've picked up some really good social skills, I was home schooled before I started moving around public schools, so I don't know if I can handle going to a new school with no connections at all! There are so many things I'm worried about, like for example, where do you sit at lunch on the first day of school? I really want this to be the last time I move schools, and I want to do a good job of fitting in. Also, in the mean time I'm worried because every year my social skills get better, but I haven't really got to improve this year at the school I'm at. None of the kids have very good social skills, so I'm not challenged, and haven't really gotten to improve at all on my social skills this year. Please any advice you have I want to hear., sorry this was so long.. thanks,
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Hello, right now you are getting advice from a person who was in your situation a lot of times. You see, i have been moving alot too. But i had moved from the Central US and around that area (same time zones) like 8 times but last year i moved all the way West. Where there is a two hours time difference. I knew absolutly no one (i moved at the end of summer so i had no chance to meet anyone). This scared me because i was going to be a junior. But i went to school on the first day (missed the bus) and ended up meeting one of my best friends who showed me everywhere. What i did was put my social skills in order (you know what i mean, say hi to people, smile etc). But, it took me two days to find a good lunch table because i knew no one. But know i sit there everyday with my awesome friends. I still make friends.
The point of the long rant was to say that you will be okay. You know how to act in a new school and even if you know no one you will still be able to get around and make friends. The only thing i will say is not to stop trying to get to know people and don't fret when you don't meet the right people. Don't worry about social groups or anything because yo might find it hard to move in (where half the kids have known each other since preschool) make friends with people you think are nice and fun. Forget being popular and concentrate on making friends who you will be happy with.
Good Luck!
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Although I'm sure you're aware of this by now, one of the best parts about switching to a brand new school is that you can create a whole new identity for yourself. It's unfortunate, in my opinion, that you've had to move around so much and switch to so many different schools. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to create any kind of connection with a person or a group of people. So you definitely have my sympathies about that.
As far as my advice is concerned, I don't think you need much of it. You seem to have things under control. You just need to believe in yourself and feel secure in your ability to adapt to change. Not only does the human spirit adapt much more quickly than we give it credit for, but you seem to be pretty strong and courageous for a 15 year old. Even if you're feeling unsure about things at the moment, that's OK. I know you'll be fine.
You need to remember that these people don't know you. If you show fear, they're going to pick up on it. However, if you appear confident, they'll have no reason to suspect otherwise. I would simply suggest trying your best to relax and don't over prepare for this situation. You've done this before and you can do it again. It's not a big deal. Keep telling yourself that. Even if you don't believe it at first, eventually you will.
You say that none of the kids have very good social skills - that's quite the unfair assumption you've made. I would suggest being a tad bit more humble about things. You don't have to put others down to lift yourself up. I'm sure you didn't mean that to be as arrogant as it came across, but you don't want to go into a situation and give off the vibe that you think you're better than everyone else (even if you are). Take that into account.
In closing, I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I don't think there's anything you can improve upon to increase your chances of making friends. You seem smart and you need to believe in your ability to adjust to certain situations. You can't control what others think, but you can control what you do. Learn to relax and be optimistic about things, and have faith that everything will eventually fall into place.
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