|
Okay so,
18/f
I had a boyfriend for three years, but then I was going though a lot of problems so I wanted to take a break. Throughout this whole time we still kept kissing and everything, so I really don't even know why I called it a break. Well, mostly because I was being very ill-tempered. Well, two months passed and we went on like this. Holding hands, everything.. But I still kept hurting him. We knew that we loved each other and everything though, so when I was finally done sorting out everything (Actually, the problems are all back now so it was really STUPID of me to even do the whole thing!) We went back out. Then, a week later he broke up with me and said he didn't want to be with me anymore because it wasn't the same. A week after that he has a new girlfriend and forgets about me. He said I took too long to ask him out and many other things.
So what do you think? I wanted to freaking marry the guy. Is there any chance of us going back out again? It doesn't seem like we will by the way he acts towards me and I regret being mean to him so much, but we were technically going out the whole break :( I was just being very evil at times. I hate it so bad. Please, I need help with this! And don't tell me to move on. I have tried, TRUST ME. I know this is the guy I want for the rest of my life :( I really know it, but I don't think he feels the same way about me anymore because I ruined everything. I have even cried everyday since he broke up with me :( Sometimes it gets so bad I just wish there was a time machine and I want to go back so bad I have panic attacks. And I have talked to him about ALL OF THIS, and he just says that it's okay, it doesn't matter that I hurt him because he found someone new. I just can't beleive it at all. A week ago before he was with her he told me how perfect we were. And I am pretty sure he was being genuine.. He is just trying to get rid of the pain maybe? Maybe he does like her? I don't know. Please show me a new perspective :(! and please, please think about everything I have written here.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i think that first you should try being a (good) friend and change. be just as nice as you would be to any other one of your friends. im sorry, i know that you dont want to hear this, but i dont think you guys were meant to be, trust me. ive been in the same situation and after a while i kinda sorta got over him. well, enough to date other boys. i suggest trying to date others, NOT TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS, and see if after youve met others youre a little more over him, if that makes sense. if this is your first "real love" you wont be completely over him for a LONG time. but youll like other boys and maybe hell come crawling back to you, you never know =]
tell me how everything worked out
]
I won't tell you to move on, but I will tell you that you will move on. I was in the exact same situation you were in. I loved this guy, but because I was miserable personally, I took it out on him. He dealt with my mental and emotional "abuse" (more like a lot of nagging and mood swings) for a while and then I got upset one night and called things off. Although I called things off, everything stayed the same as it was minus the label of "boyfriend/girlfriend."
Although we were off for a while, the whole time we were really on. For some reason, there's a certain sense of relief when you stop trying to define your relationship that allows you to just enjoy it for what it is. Eventually, things started getting better for me personally, so once again we were back on. Unfortunately, I ultimately showed signs of my old, former self and that led to him completely ditching me. He made new friends, found a new "girlfriend," and moved on completely. I, of course, was devastated.
I tried to deal with it for a while (several months), but eventually I had to seek help. I had previously been on 10mg of Prozac and ended up increasing the dosage to 20mg. That, plus allowing myself time to heal and making new friends, really helped me to move on regardless of me previously thinking I wouldn't be able to. I know you don't want to hear it because I certainly didn't, but you will move on and you will be happy again. You may need help, but time heals ALL wounds.
To tell you how bad I was back then, I begged him to take me back for just a weekend to see if it would spark something inside of him that would make him want me back. I made him my whole life (aka no other friends or hobbies) and I was desperate to have that life back. I look back on that moment now and laugh because I was pathetic and desperate back then. I've completely changed. Not only am I fine (aka very happy) without him, but I think he's a huge dork now and possibly gay!
I don't know if I've offered you any kind of new perspective, but hopefully you can see that I've been there and I really do sympathize with you. Falling in love is not just a figure of speech. When you get your heart broken, it honestly feels like you've fallen into a dark, bottomless pit and you have to find a way to get out. The way out begins by allowing yourself to be sad, giving yourself time, taking it easy, and remembering that not only do you love him, but you love yourself too.
If you need anymore advice or someone to listen, please feel free to email me. :)
]
More Questions: |