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sex/christian/wrong?
so, im a christain. i've always been, but latley, ive really been getting into it since my boyfriend started bring me to youth group. and i know that having sex before marriage is wrong, and i was just wondering, is it just what YOU yourself think sex is thats wrong? or is it just touching and stuff thats wrong. because thats what me and my boyfriend do. we just touch and stuff, but we havent actually had sex. so does it just count on your beliefs? because me, i think that if you actually have sex before marriage, its wrong. thanks alot for your help!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
NEVER HAVE SEX BEFORE MARAGE. you don't know if you are going to brack up with him trust me DON'T DO IT
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Because you're a Christian, I shall try to give you the Christian view point.
Firstly, the Christian church, as you said, does not believe in premarital sex. As for the Roman Catholic Church, they believe that chastity in all the senses is the superb good; however, they also believe that there are many that are meant to have a meaningful relationship through the sacrament of marriage. Also, they believe that when one is in a relationship with another human being there will be various passions between those that are truly in love, or at least to those that have a genuine feeling of attraction and affection, and that they will be expressed in actions such as kissing, and touching. However, they do not believe in purely lustful passions, which would be the act of kissing, touching, or masturbating, which, in reality, it's considered a mortal sin unless in the act of sex within a married status with your life-long partner.
My advice to you would be that, if there is a completely genuine feeling of love and affection, one of the most beautiful things to do would be to enjoy such a relationship in the most spiritual way possible and to engage in such acts, such as kissing and touching, when it's completely uncontrollable (remembering, of course, that is important to know how to hold). Also, I would advice you to keep an eye out the passions which you feel are at all related to a true love and not merely a lustful or even a simple act of doing something because the feeling is good, which in this case would be called lust.
Please, do remember that what I've just told you is the Christian view.
I truly hope you find tranquility.
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Well, it differs from person to person, but many of my friends who are Christians (and I agree with them) think that sex before marriage is indeed wrong. That entails actual intercourse as well as "other stuff"... oral, etc. I think that stuff should be between a man and a woman who are married. And as far as stuff like kissing or whatever, that's fine, as long as you're tactful about it. I mean, nobody wants to see you swap spit with someone for twenty minutes in between classes or anything. That's not really something that you should do in really public areas, but that's common sense, too. Just be in good taste- don't be trashy about the things you and your boyfriend do, you know? Use your best judgment about things like that. That's where the different beliefs come in; I've heard about people saving their first kiss ever for when they get married. Crazy, right? At least they're not going to get STDs or something. But yeah, generally speaking, actually having sex is wrong and the other things like touching are in the "gray area" where you need to use your best judgment.
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You're bound to get a lot of different viewpoints on this. My take is simple. Touching, kissing, caressing is not intercourse so therefore if you don't believe in sex before marriage it doesn't fall into that category. Now, let's say you did want to have sex.
Would that make you any less a Christian or ruin your relationship and commitment to God? No it wouldn't. You would still have the same beliefs and convictions as well as character. Nothing changes there and your morals, judgment and values aren't going to collapse or fade away.
So, I think touching, kissing, caressing etc is perfectly natural. It's not sex and isn't getting anyone pregnant or in to real harm. You have to have a safe release for all the tension that builds up and intense feelings.
You're fine even masturbation is okay incase you were wondering lots of religious people engage in touching etc with partners but don't go beyond until married.
Put it this way you're the one governing yourself and if you believe that this doesn't make you any less a Christian continue with it or make changes that you feel are right. Nobody else can choose for you nor do they have a right to tell you that what you're doing is wrong.
Believe me, they're all doing something in their lives not necessarily related to sex that someone else who is christian may object to. What is right/wrong here is the eye of the beholder. If I were you I'd continue doing what you are doing in this loving, committed relationship and know that there's nothing wrong with it as it's not intercourse.
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