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clueless about my own emotions
16/f- i really hope you read this because my friends won't really understand.
alright so when i was 14 i dated a guy who was at the time 17. he was my first love and we were going out within about a week after we met. we went out for 4 months and i went to his jr. prom. i lost my spark of attraction to him and the large age difference was putting a strain on the relationship. he told me that there was another girl who liked him and he had always liked her and if he wasn't already going out with me then he would go out with her so he gave me the option (knowing about the other girl) if i wanted to keep the relationship going or end it. i decided to end it because i didn't really like him anymore and i'm not going to go out with a guy when i know he likes someone else.
the actual break up was peaceful and i actually became aquaitances with his new girlfriend. we tried being just friends but the break up was so recent that we ended up fighting and yelling at each other so we decided to say goodbye for a while. for about a year i thought about him everyday. not because i liked him but just because everything reminded me of him. i finally stopped thinking of him and now its been two years since i've even seen him (we went to different schools). well about a month or two ago he texted me just to say hey. i was shocked and i didn't even know he still had my number because he didn't have a cell phone when we were going out so its not like it would have been saved in his address book. so we've been talking. nothing major. at first it was really akward and we had nothing to talk about and even now after talking for two months we pretty much just talk about the weather and work. im not sure if he's still going out with the girlfriend he went out with after me but the last i knew of which was about 4 or 5 months ago, he was. so we've been talking almost every day or maybe 3 times a week. now i haven't heard from him in about 2 weeks and i've texted him and he normally responds within 5 minutes. he probably broke his phone again because it often gets broken...he works in construction. ok so here's the thing...in 2 years this past week of not talking to him is the first time i've missed him. there's two guys who i like at school but i cant get my ex out of my head. one minute i'm wondering if i like him and the other minute im remembering all the reasons why i don't. ok so im going to go over pros and cons.
pros:
-he's sensitive and sweet(he cried when trying to tell me how much he loved me)
-his family is incredibly sweet
-he's really easy to talk to
-he knows a lot about me
-he told me i was the first girl he ever truly loved
cons:
-he didn't go to college which is really important to me
-he is now 19yrs old and im 16 so theres still an age difference
-because of the age difference, my dad hates him and doesn't want me with him and my mom wouldn't be thrilled about the idea either
-he might still have a girlfriend but if i ask him i dont want him to think im interested in him
-my friends really don't like him and think he's a loser for not going to college
i obviously can't talk to my friends about this because they wouldn't understand and i haven't talked to ANYONE about this because i have no idea what i'm feeling. so if anyone read this entire thing, then you're amazing to begin with but if you can help me out i'd be really greatful. so...thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well with your con list:
1. If he didn't go to college and since this is important to you, this should be a turn off
2. The age difference is a little much but if he still loves you, it shouldn't matter
3. Your parents are right to worry...I'd be worried too. If you assure them that nothing will happen and everything will be fine, then it should ease the worrying a little. It may never completely go away.
4. Youu are right..you don't wanna ask him point blank because you don't really want to seem intrested. Ask his friends.
5. If your friends don't like him, then maybe they are trying to tell you something. I've been struggling with my ex since 9th grade..now I'm in 12th.. and my friends have NO probliem telling him they don't like him. He ended up dumping me Friday. The circumstances may sound rough but you'll get through this.
That's good that you keep in touch with him and are friendly with the new girl. Hope I helped!
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Alright. Well, to start with I'm sure everyone tells you this, but your first love is always hard. So this isn't going to be easy either way.
If you guys keep talking, girlfriends or boyfriends are bound to come into the conversation now and then. That's the way it is. I think he misses you and that's why he contacted you again, but I don't know.
Your pros are good pros, obviously, that's why they're pros.
The cons.
-Him not going to college right away doesn't mean he never will. My brother's 25 and he just started college. He might just not know what he wants to do yet.
-The age thing doesn't matter really. I know it seems like it now, but if you ask your parents or older people you'll see that a lot of them are almost 10 years apart.
-Your parents would be supportive of you if things start going somewhere with him again. You think they hate him because of those things because the two of you broke up and they're trying to make you feel better about it.
-Just ask when the two are you are talking. Ask how the dating game's going or something like that. That's how my exs always get me to spill out about my relationships now.
-Your friends will have to learn. Like I said, college doesnt have to come right after high school.
If you need anything you can always IM me, this is more like an ongoing thing I can see, so my sn is babyaltox if you need anything!
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