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Does He Like Me or Am I Kidding Myself?
I met this guy almost 2 years ago, when I moved here, and in these last two years we have gotten to be close friends. At first when he started coming over, I was shy towards him because I didn't really know him. But after a couple of weeks of him coming over, I became less shy towards him, and we became real close friends. I have liked him ever since. I cant quit thinking about him, and I cant wait for him to come over. I have never felt like this towards anyone before. I have never told him that I like him, but I'm sure he's got some kind of a clue that I do. When he is over he will sit right next to me on the couch. I have this huge couch to sit on, and he sits really close to me. I also catch him staring at me a lot. He will be talking to me, but he looks directly into my eyes and his gaze will linger. When I get up to move, I can feel him watching me. Another thing is, when I go to the store, he will usually come with. Or when he goes to the store he will sometimes come over and either ask if I need anything or if I would like to go with him. One day when I asked him why he always comes with me when I go to the store, he just said that he would feel bad if something were to happen to me and he weren't there. I had also house sat for 5 days, and the first night we texted each other back and forth late into the night, even though he had to be up early for work the next day. Then the other four days he called me and we would talk until late into the night. He told me that he texted and called me everyday because he didn't want me to be bored or lonely. He always makes an effort to touch me. Like I will hand him something, and there is plenty of room for him to grab it where our fingers wont touch, but he will grab it up high so our fingers touch. If we go places, he will usually pay for me too. The other night we were wrestling with each other, and he had had me pinned on the floor and he had his face mashed into mine, and he didn't move for the longest time. So from all of this, does it seem like he likes me?
Well now here's the hard part. He has been engaged for the past year. I recently asked him when he planned on getting married, and he said it wouldn't be for another four years because his fiancé says she wants to finish school first. Then he told me about how she also said that she wanted to wait because with the amount of money she makes, she gets a bunch of money back on her taxes. That sounds like a pitiful excuse to me. Sounds to me like she doesn't want to get married. My mother had been over that day (she knows him too) and had told him that she doesn't think that they will get married. He got all defensive and kept asking why she though that. My mom pretty much told him that they act more like friends than a couple. They only see each other for a couple of hours on saturday, but other than that they talk on the phone a couple times a day. Is it strange that they are engaged and hardly see each other, and that they don't live together? It seems to me like they are in a relationship just because they can be. She leaves for her last 4 years of college in another city, and he isn't going with her. I guess what I am trying to ask is, Does he like me? Should I tell him even though he's with her? If so, how should I go about telling him? What do I say? And do you think (from what I have told you) that he will marry her? I do want to note though that as long as they are together I don't have any plans on interfering with their relationship. I'm not a home wrecker. But you cant help who you like right?. Sorry for all the questions, but I really am at a loss. WHAT DO I DO???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ask him, that's all you can do. If he's serious about this realtionship, wait for a while and see what happens.
Also, he shouldn't be sending out these signals to you that he likes you if he's getting married because you've how got feelings for you and if he goes trhough this marriage, will end up dissapointed.
Be clear with him that you've got feelings and that you don't want to be in the possision of disspointment. SO he needs to make a decision between you and her. The two of you can remain friends, keep that in mind.
I hope this helped and if you need anymore help, feel free to put a question in my inbox,
triquetra
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Darling, you keep asking this question and you are going to keep on getting the exact same answer:
You do nothing! There is nothing for you do.
He's picked her. He is engaged to her. Doesn't matter if he isn't happy. Doesn't matter if she treats him bad. Doesn't matter if they don't go through with it.
It DOES NOT matter what I think, what your mom think, what you think, what anyone else on the god damn planet thinks about if they'll get married or not.
Right now, he is taken, off he market, not for flirting with or carrying on with.
YOU ARE ON VERY DANGEROUS GROUND.
Despite each questions solem oath that nothing will happen while he is enagaged, you are in fact doing something right now. You are obsessing. This has to be at least your fourth question in the last two months. You are remaining right there in the wings watching and waiting for this relationship to fail. That is not right. A true friend wouldn't behave that way. A healthy individual wouldn't behave that way.
Stop your inappropraite behavoir before it starts by reducing your contact with thier man, keeping it strictly and friendly and PLEASE find another way to spend you time and engry. Get a hobby or an interest that is going further you as human being. An obession with an unaviable guy is only going to tear you down, find people who will build you up.
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