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liked a guy for a long tym, but now i hav a bf, but now i'm
[sorry, but it had to be a long, detailed story to show why i'm confused]
i have this thing
i try to luk for things i can look forward to
can b my crazy friends
can b a fun thing in class
and mostly i find sum1 to kinda like for sorta lyk a goal
so
7th grade of 07, 2nd semester, math class
we were getting new seats
i was placed in a corner desk and next to me is, let's call him "Kuro".
we soon started to talk to each other
helped each other w/ da math, sumtyms even make fun of da teacher(not in a very mean way, jst playing around)
he wasn't rly sum1 u'd find cute,
but i decided to start to lyk him
anyway
even jst a little to make math class more to luk forward to
i found out dat he didnt hav any close frends
so i tried to treat him as a frend as best as i cud
i found out he had a myspace
but he sed he nvr goes online
i told him i'm always on, and no one ever is
so i forced him to go online
soon at school, he stopped trying to hang out w/ da guys and started hanging out at da table where me and my frends were
i got to noe him better soon enough
i both realized we're both kinda evil, in a childish way (he's worst doh haha)
i also realized dat i'm da only one who talks to him on myspace and he still goes online
i was da only one who cud actually continue on his weirdly violent, 'intellegent' conversations
unlike everyone else who jst says 'we dnt care(in a play way) hahaha nah jk'
he was lyk da exact opposite of me, so we got along
he soon put me #4 on his top friends
i started to lyk him a little more
he soon started telling me his secrets, and i was da only one dat noes about dem
i started to lyk him even more
but den soon he tells me he likes this girl dat was third on his top friends(his 1st nd 2nd wer his sisters)
i was disappointed, so i tried to give up on him
but den i was still luking forward to math class even doh he liked sum1 else
also wen i realized he was going to play an instrument for da 8th grd of 07 grad, i found myself begging for sum1 to take me, jst so i cud talk to him for 1 more extra day before summer
da day after da grad day he told me he stopped lyking da girl
i was strangely really happy
but wen i asked him who he liked now, he sed he dusnt lyk anyone ryt now, i was unordinarily disappointed
wen 8th grd started, i cudnt believe how much i wanted to b in da same classes as him
and on da classes we were both in, i cudnt believe how much i wanted to sit nxt to him
later on, i told da truth on me liking him to my closest frends
dey told me how ugly he was(not in a mean way, but jst in a compared, rlynotdeyrtype thing, rlly not cute and cool is kinda true >_<)
but den dey also noe how i'm da closest to him so dey sort of understood
we'll dey sed dey did until dey kept acting immature so i told dem i stopped lyking him, even doh i rlly havent
i hav an aquaintance, let's call him "Kohaku" dat did a lot of bulletins on myspace, i'd reply another bulletin, he found me funny so he made his closest frends add me
one by one his frends added me
one of dem was sum1, let's call him "shiro"
shiro found out i had a maple story so he told me to go online and play w/ him
i was a noob so he helped me w/ it
doh he helped me, he was kind of a jerk for teasing me a lot
i hated him
we met each other in school wen "kohaku"'s group bumped into mine in da hallway
and den soon i got used to it so i wud jst say things w/o being a jerk back at him
we were both rpg fanatics
we started to get along better
in school, we wud tease each other about games, frends, but not much to turn into besties
i learned how to get pass his jerkiness
den i started to lyk him
but i knew not as much as "kuro"
a few weeks later, "Kohaku" and my closest friends started to tease me, sumthing about dem knowing who likes me
i thought it was a joke, since guys barely likes me
but a few days later, dey wer still at it, in fact even more people joined in
i knew sumthing was rly going on
dat was wen i started to test "Kuro" to see if he lyks me back
many of dem he passed, but many was neither passing or failing
few days later
my frends told me how 'dat sum1 dat lyks me is going to confess today'
i gave Kuro even bigger tests to see if he lyks me back, but he failed on showing any signs
afterschool, "Shiro" confessed, but i sed i'll think about it, since i didnt noe yet how "Kuro" felt yet
so da next day, i decided to test "kuro" a few last times
i told my frends, my reason for 'thinking about it', and dis tym dey decided to help
dey spread how "Shiro" confessed, so it wud reach "kuro", to see if he wud react
at lunch, one of my closest friends asked "kuro":
hey "kuro", who do u lyk, huh?
he sed: y shud i tell u!?
we guessed: _____? ______? ______(me)?
he sed: no! da new girl in science class
so i decided dat he does not like me back, so da nxt day, i sed yes to "Shiro" since i lyk him too, i'd give it a try
I started to lyk "shiro" more and more
da more i got to noe him, da more i realized how much he's dun 4 me, da more i loved da way he hugs me, da more i realize he's always der for me, da more i want to b w/ him
of course, i tried to give up on "kuro"
but i felt der was a difference between how i liked "kuro" and "shiro"
i still talk to "kuro" more, about more things
how i seem to reply faster to "kuro" dan "shiro"
i kinda felt i still liked "kuro" more
sumtyms i feel lyk i lyk dem at da same lvl, sumtimes "kuro" more, sumtyms "shiro" more
it's lyk a bar graph, da lines passing each other representing my feelings
dey both started as a i-kinda-lyk-dem for the heck of it
but now it's as if i both need dem
it seems wrong
i noe my frends will find it wrong, but i dnt blame dem, i hid dis frm dem way too long anyway
by da tym it was me and "shiro"'s 2nd monthiversary, i felt dat i now lyk "shiro" a lot more dan "kuro"
but wen "kuro" told me he liked one of my closest friends, let's call her "Tsuyu"
i tried to do my best to stop dem frm liking each other!
i cudnt believe it, i still like "kuro"
and now, "kuro" is doing things "shiro" used to do
lyk stealing my box of chocolates(it's kinda heavy; for fundraising), jst to give it back to me wen i arrive in class
he's been trying to talk to me as much as he can lately, interupting people talking to me
standing nxt to me wen "shiro" isn't hugging me
stares my way wen im hugging "Shiro"
now my frends hav a 'theory' dat "kuro" likes me
i need help on getting dis straight about "kuro" and "shiro"
i dnt know wat my exact problem is, i dnt know wat to do, and i dnt know wat to think about
rlly srry for da length, but you have to understand my reasons T.T
thnk you!
please help me try to understand
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To reconcile your situation, you should learn how to write in English.
EDIT:
That's fair.
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Okay, well i know how you feel. Advice, dont use as much im speak. Well I know you really like Kuro, but i just dont think it would work out. I mean it has been a long time, and you have a bf. He lost a good thing, and he could hurt you in the future. As for shiro, he seems like a really good guy. I say dont give up shiro for kuro because he has liked a lot of girls your close with and just started to like you. He changed who he liked many times. Shiro seems like he only liked you, unlike kuro liking your friends.
Another thing, dont try to make him stop liking your friends. I mean, it makes it harder for you to stop liking him. If he got a gf, one of your close friends, it would be wrong to like him, it would hurt your friend, and bf. I hope my advice helped!
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ok. First, I understand your IM laung. But, you over do it. It took me twicw as long as i could have to read your quistion. Second, It sounds like you and Kuro will never be more than friends. And hey, there is nothing wrong with this. But I think you shouuld tell him how you feel.But exsplain to him what you said in this message. Cause if he is your friend, he'll understand. ANd for your boyfriend, don't blow off a great guy for someone who might not be there for you. Ok? If you need further advice, write it out and email me.
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