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what to do about a friends mother in law situation
i am askin advise for my friend she has been married for 4
yrs and she has always been nervous around her mother in
law.her mil is manipulating,controlling,negative,stubborn,nit
picky & more.her mil has an illness and she moved in so her
daughter in law could take care of her also because she
couldnt afford to live where she was and she didnt get along
with her neibors.her dil was nervous around her already, and
thought she would try to help her even though she would be
physically drained from anxiety being around her.she meant
well she hoped they would get closer,but her mil started
taking over.the mil trish has a detached bedroom but always
was in the house.the dil amy put a serveilance camera up so
she knew when she was inside her mil took the camera out and
she hasnt seen it for two yrs.the dil locked herself in her
room and parked at the end of the street so he mil trish
didnt know when she was home.trish the mil would talk to her
through the door mostly putting her down that she didnt have
a job or didnt clean the house much.she didnt have a job
because she had social anxiety and didnt clean the house
because she avoided her mil.dil tried to write notes saying
that she would like to plan a time to have the house to her
self so she could clean.but the mil just said the dil is just
trying to get her way.and that she shouldnt boss her
around.the mil is so nit picky she didnt want her to use the
wash mashine she said she didnt shake the pet hair & dirt off
the clothes and unbalanced the loads which she did shake them
and didnt unbalance hardly at all.her mil would get upset if
there were dishes left in the sink or kitchen.she treated her
son like royalty and said he worked to hard to do any inside
housework.he does have a physically demanding job but i dont
think there is anything wrong with him helping.she seems like
a stepford wife monster.she is always saying how everything
needs to be cleaned or done.the poor dil got a portable stove
and cooked in her room.she had a fridge in there but her mil
wanted it and she got it.so she eats things that have been
out for too long that its definitly questionable to eat.her
hubby has a temper and broke the door frame when he came to
the room because she would lock the door when he would go
out.so now she cant be home when her hubby isnt around
because her mil is coming in to bother her.so she has been
hiding out in a cold trailer at home.she is scared to turn
the heater on incase her mil hears it and scared to cook in
case she smells the food.she barely walks around in it
because it squeaks, so all she does is sleep covered up to
stay warm.she has no running water and is going to the
bathroom in bags and throws them away somewhere because her
mil goes through the trash to make sure no one threw
recycleables away or to snoop.she has admitted to snooping
through her paperwork to find out more about her since the
dil doesnt talk to her.she wants to get a job but has no
energy she is overweight and so stressed and has social
anxiety.i think she is used to sleeping and not moving so it
makes her tired easy.but she said she was like this since her
mil moved in.she did work before but she couldnt afford the
social anxiety meds and was laid off because her client had
to go to a covelecsent hospital.one time her mil figured out
the window didnt lock so she climed in her dil room because
she knew she was home and ignoring her.the mil got her bosses
phone number and called her and became friends with her and
told her that the dil was lazy and didnt do anything.and who
knows what else so she was fired for a week but her boss
realized she was a good worker and rehired her.the only
reason they have her there is because they are relying on her
rent because the dil lost her job,they have so much stress
and the mil comes in their room when they are gone and cleans
it and takes things out sometimes wont give it back,and she
wont listen to them.she is always right or justifies
everything like she has a right to do what she does.she one
time put her hands around her dil neck and said i could kill
you right now b**ch.the dils mom changed her number because
the mil was leaving rude messages.the dil and her hubby have
no money and are so stressed and have no energy to move
hardly they want to sell their house but need to piant and
clean it.they are relying on rent from the mil since dil lost
her job.so they plan on moving and getting away from the
mil.is there anything that can help now.what do u think of
all this.the dil wont stand up to the mil she had tried and
it doesnt help.and she is scared to get a job and even to see
a councelor.and she has no money.would a doctor see her once
or a few times and perscrbe her meds?she doesnt have a
regular doc.her crazy life would make a good book or
movie.and its all true.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Yeah, for sure any doctor would give her something for this.
]
Any family doctor would possibly give her
something for anxiety. What she needs to do
is tell her husband she can't take it anymore.
Her mother in law is well enough to harass
her, she is capable of living in her own
place. If she truly isn't then she could go
to an assisted living facility and live.
Tell her to talk to her husband about this.
He needs to be the one to make this stop
somehow. It is his mother. Subjecting his
wife to her 24/7 isn't right. She needs to
find a job and get her out of her home
before this destroys her marriage.
]
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