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Getting a friend back
this is going to sound incredibly stupid of me.. but im asking anyways
so... i have this friend that i was best friends with... she's really mad and should be after what i did. see, i have this drug problem and i've been working hard to stop and i did until two weeks ago i relasped. well... she found out and was like i warned you many times that if you did them again that i wouldn't talk to you. she isnt talking to me. so now i feel so stupid. i mean i've been calling and texting her... the whole nine yards to apologize. and i mean i know i like really messed up... so i need help finding a way to get her back... she doesnt go to my school either
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
send her a note by mail or like give it to her or put it on her doorstep
include the following in the note
-you are sorry
-its hard and you are willing to keep trying
-and that you need her help and support to get over it and that with out her being your friends you feel more worse...
if you include that fact that you need her help and her support she will feel like you really want to rtry and are willing to accept help and will hopefully you guys will be alright
Good luck (w/ your friend & your addiction)
remember it will be hard but you can do it,(addiction) but it will be worth it!!
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Don't apologize for something that happened during a relapse or blame yourself. She doesn't know enough about addiction to know that you don't just get treatment and boom it takes and you recover. She's blaming you for something you can't control.
She should also know that anything you did or said at that time was the drugs, the addiction, and the relapse and not who you are. Granted what you did hurt her but she shouldn't blame you for it or shut the door on you for stumbling.
1 in every 10 people in recovery relapse if not once its several times. You have got to want to get better and back into treatment again. Once your friend sees you have done something to get back on the wagon she should come around again.
Stop apologizing, get help and boot bad influences out of your life. She's probably angry because she thinks you apologize every time but land back into the same trouble. If you care about her and others really work hard right now and turning around your life and figuring out what triggered the relapse so you don't ever go through it again.
If she sees that you are working your ass off and turning your life around step by step and in the moment she will respect you and see that you want to correct things. More or less she wants you to stop apologizing and get better because she can't stand who you are when not sober.
If this friendship is a solid one and one meant to be kept it will work out. You have to knock out the crowd you have been hanging with, get rid of friends who aren't right for you or do drugs/booze and work harder than ever before on recovery.
Believe me she and everyone else will notice and will want to be part of your life. She's probably also scared for your life, scared to be around you, confused and upset. She can't bring herself to be around that as it isn't healthy for either of you.
But once you clean up for good the right people will find you or return. Until you do this she's going to stay away from you I'm afraid. She doesn't know how to be supportive or a friend when you're in this condition. That's all there is to your problem.
Wait for her to reach out to you but get your recovery going again ASAP and make some painful and sweeping changes. Recovery takes a long time, honesty, and hard work as you know. You've just got to want this more than your next breath.
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