|
I ruin our phone calls
I'm 15/f, my boyfriend is 16/m and we have been going out for just over 7 months.
My boyfriend calls me every night to talk for a little bit (and he can't text, if that matters). Usually the call is like a half an hour, sometimes an hour-ish... and usually he calls around 9 or 9:30-ish and wants to leave by 10 or around there. Usually everything is fine. We can just be happy and talking normally but then once he says he's getting tired and he has to leave I get all messed up. It's hard to describe it. I always stay up later than him (often because I procrastinate or I just don't want to go to bed yet). I guess I feel like he is leaving too early and he shouldn't be so tired that he has to leave already? But I know that is totally unfair. He is really, really good to me, and I don't want to take anything away from him.
It's become like a routine to have this happen at the end of every phone call and it ends up making me cry even though he will stay with me (he just asks what's wrong, what he can do, and says he needs sleep). Then the next day at school I end up apologizing to him for keeping him up with nonsense.
I just don't know how to handle it. We've tried talking about it and we thought maybe we could fix it but it hasn't done much. I'm scared maybe something is actually wrong with me? Is this normal? I need to find a way to overcome this or just avoid it altogether, but if I ignore that I am upset while I am talking to him, I will bottle it up and it could get worse.
I don't know what to do. My boyfriend spends every possible moment with me, calls me nightly, has never ever been mad at me for any stupid thing I do, and I end up getting mad at him for wanting to go to sleep. I know it's totally unfair. I always wake up in the morning asking myself why I would ever do that to someone.
What can I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are putting way more upon his little shoulders than is healthy. He cannot become your security blanket. Where is your dad? I sense you have strong feelings of abandonment that need to be addressed immediately before your whole life is wasted in pursuit of men to fulfill your emptiness. You have no confidence and security when you are alone and that is putting you in great jeopardy. The tears are real, but a manipulation to get what you desperately need...and they will eventually drive him away. You are in a lot of pain and need to get some real support right away from a caring counselor. Please talk to a trusted adult about your feelings. You need to gain some real security and heal some past wounds so that you can be a person who can stand alone and who is ready to be in a healthy relationship where both people are contributing equally.
]
honestly the same thing happened to me with my boyfriend so when he said he wanted to get off the phone i would let him and afterwards i would just try to do something productive that could keep my mind off of it because i wanted to respect what he needed which was sleep. it still really bothered me at first but now i'm getting more used to it. it wasn't easy to do at all but i just had to keep telling myself that getting upset over it wasn't really rational thinking and eventually i felt better about the whole situation
]
Honestly, the only thing you can do is calm down and suck it up. I do not understand why you get so upset when he wants to sleep? Just because you do not go to bed at that time, does not mean he can't. You can try not procrastinating, and doing everything before you and him start talking, and maybe also going to bed when he does. There is really nothing else you can do. People need their sleep. You said that you two are together 24/7 and talk all the time, so what is the problem? You seem worried that when he gets to sleep he's going to dream about someone else and completely forget about you. And I know you know that is not going to happen, because obviously he cares about you if you both spend so much time together. You at least see that you do have a problem, and you seem a little TOO attached. Mostly all you can do is take a breather and let the guy get his sleep.
]
More Questions: |