|
A break from love..
How do you tell someone who is totally in love with you that you want to go on a break from them ? :| I mean i do like my bf .. but i just need abit of time on my own. I dont want to finish with him forever i dont think, but i just want to go on a break from him. How do i tell him ? :\ Thank Yuu x x
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You can go ahead and do that but there are absolutely no guarantees if HE will want YOU back. Trust me, guys hate it when you go on breaks with them and then you expect them to just come running back. think about the chances your willing to take.
If you want to do this, don't make it so formal. Just have it be like any other time you hangout with him. Start talking and tell him how you feel.
--TheCuriousAries
]
Why do you want a break?
If it's to have more time to yourself, then maybe you don't need to actually break up with him. Try talking to him and explaining to him that you feel like you need some time for yourself and if he would mind that. I'm sure he wouldn't. If you need to be alone a bit more or even just hang out with other people, then go for it...but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to break up with him to do it. Just arrange things with him so that you still talk to him and see him, even if its not as much as before. Also, let him know that it isn't a permanent thing either, and that you are just trying to get yourself together.
If it's because you want a break from love, as your title says, and you don't actually want to be in a relationship, then that might be a bit different. If the relationship feels to be taking too much of a toll on you, first you should try toning things down and taking everything on a lighter level, like talking less or not seeing each other as much, doing things with other people, etc. But let him know that though, because if you just start to do that without saying anything he might think he is doing something wrong.
If taking things lighter at first doesn't give you the time or results that you needed, then talk to him again and let him know that you feel like you need a break. Saying it directly and not beating around the bush is probably be best for something like this. Ask him how he feels about doing that and if he is OK with it and make sure you make clear if there are going to be any 'rules' set in, like "oh we are on break but not allowed to see other people either". If you plan to get back together and don't draw lines about things like that, it can get really ugly later on... So think over and sort out your feelings on what it is you need and would like to do, talk to him about and get his feelings on it too so you know if you need to slow things down between you too, break up, or just spend more time alone. Hope that helped and good luck.
]
remember these tips:
1. Where and how you do it
Let him/her down gently. Try and lead up to it and don't drop it on them like a bomb. Just because you're breaking up the relationship doesn't mean you shouldn't treat him well, especially if you want them to stay in your life. That means not just calling it off on the phone or the street corner. Just like you'd have taken trouble over a date, choose a nice, quiet place and make it as painless as you possibly can.
2. Why you're doing it
You have a better chance of staying friends or possibly getting back together if you're choosing to break up the relationship over a really genuine reason. If you've taken a fancy to his best friend or worse yet if you're cheating on him, the friendship line or your future together won't stand a chance. Whatever is the reason you're choosing to break up, try and explain it as delicately as possible without assigning any blame to him.
3. How you hate yourself
Make it clear that you despise yourself not so much for breaking up the relationship (as it was a necessary evil in your eyes) but for the hurt you're causing him. Deride yourself. And make it clear that you wish you didn't have to do it but you weren't happy and need time to yourself.
4. Why you'd like to be friends
Make them aware that although you're the one initiating the break up, how you could see it coming. See if you can cite instances. And tell them that while it would not work now, you still like him as a person, and want to get together again in the future. Stress on some wonderful times you've had and how you would not like to see it end in bitterness.
5. How you're ready to wait
Be prepared that everything won't go off very smoothly. It is a moment fraught with emotion, tensions and anxieties of the past and yet some very good times, culminating in this anticlimax. Since expectedly, you've been doing all the talking so far, barring some sound effects from your partner, give them a chance to talk and hear them out.
Then ask them if they'd like some time on their own to think about the friendship angle and maybe getting back together when they are in a more balanced emotional state. Let them know that you will be around whenever they decide to call or if they do. Ask if it would be ok if you initiated contact after maybe a month.
Good luck and i hope i helped.
]
Tell him how you feel. Say it nicely and respectfully. Tell him that you've got things going through your mind right now and you really need some time to just think everything through. If you still like him, tell him that, just say that you need a bit of a break to think about things and just relax for a while. I'm sure if he really likes you, he'll understand.
Hope I could help:)
<Guidance Girl>
]
More Questions: |