Hi,
Long story short. I've known this guys for awhile a year or so. Never really talked, he dated my friend but they broke up and now my friends with another guy but their friends and everything. Well he was at her party and we talked a little. And then recentlly I've been talking to him on facebok [messages]. And i think i might be getting a little crush on him cause i've always though he was cute. But the problem is i'm 99% sure he smokes pot or something at least. but i've always wanted a guy who doesn't smoke pot, and i'm scared that i'll really being to like him but the whole smokin pot i really dislike. so maybe i'm crazy but any thoughts on the situation. like if i should just see where it goes, talk to him about it or try and get out now so i don't end up hurting myself.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? avalonavalon answered Monday December 31 2007, 6:11 pm: First of all- you can't change someone or really shouldn't just to make them who you want them to be. Just because he smokes pot, doesn't make him a bad person and I almost guarantee that if something were to happen between you two- resulting in a relationship he would not pressure you to smoke pot too. Hopefully he would respect your decision as long as you do not try to change him. Keep in mind that so so so many people have been into drugs these days it's ridiculous. If he's doing more than pot... then you might need to worry- it could be danger for the both of you- but I'd say it's safe for now (: maybe you could find out what exactly he's been up to? If it's just pot- or more. Hope I helped and good luck (:
-avalon [ avalonavalon's advice column | Ask avalonavalon A Question ]
AngelofMercy answered Monday December 31 2007, 4:38 pm: Ok, been there done that. They never give up pot for you. They just hide it. It becomes a problem and then you are stuck trying to deal with a man and a pot issue. Not good. I would suggest that you strongly adhere to your own set of restrictions when dating. If you cross that line once, it may lead to more damage in the end.
Too many things could happen.
#1 You could start smoking too, and lead you down a path of self destruction.
#2 You never feel safe with them. Trust me, it's like omg what if he has some on him and we get caught by the police?
#3 Putting your moral fiber on hold for a crush could lead you to think that it's okay to toss out all the characteristics that you despise from someone out the window.
You have to feel safe and be happy about the relationship. Otherwise, you are just going to be dragging yourself down and not enjoying your life. Good Luck!! [ AngelofMercy's advice column | Ask AngelofMercy A Question ]
infatuatedxxglamour answered Monday December 31 2007, 4:03 pm: I would definitely start a relationship with him if it comes about, and forget about the pot. If he hasn't brought it up already, its probably not a big thing in his life and won't when you're dating. However, if it does, and he decides to fess up to it, or someone talks about dealing it to him, you should definitely talk to him about it. Ask him not to smoke around you or offer you pot. If your relationship goes on longer than a month, you should talk to him about quitting, because its not good for him and you're looking out for his, and your, best interests.
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