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i should just send out an application with a "insert picture
16/f Junior in HS
i have trust issues, lets start with that. the last guy i was involved with made a bunch of lies and rumors making me look like a whore. my boyfriend of 6 months, a few years ago told me he still loved me when we broke up but he apparently didn't love me that much because he had a new girlfriend by the end of the day. i told my best friend my deepest secret and she spread it around school. my social life has changed dramatically this past year and now it has affected my love life.
my last serious relationship was 2years ago. it was amazing while it lasted and we truly were in love with each other. i had a fling over the summer but it went horribly wrong. everytime i tell a guy i like them they get a girlfriend the next day. i had a chance at getting into a relationship a few months ago but the more i talked to him the more things i found that i didn't like about him. i set high standards. well i think they're high.
i need a guy who:
-gives me space but is there when i need them
-is active in at least one sport (no computer/video game nerds{but im not saying video games are off limits})
-has to be respectful
-older than me or only younger by a month
-doesnt have hair past their shoulders
-doesnt smoke anything(i dont care about drinking as long as its not excessive)
-likes watching movies
-likes to cuddle
-wont try to make out with me in front of his friends just to show off
-wants to go to college
i don't go for just anyone. i don't like having my heart broken and i rarely put it out there. now, theres a guy who meets my standards but i'm not sure if he likes me back. we flirt a lot but i dont know if he thinks its just being nice. i need a book for understanding guys. seriously if theres a book let me know. so back to my flirty guy. he's a friend of a guy friend that i have and i've hung out with him once out of school and that was halloween. okay so on to my question(s)
1-do i have high standards?
2-is there a book for understanding teenage guys(i like to read)
3-should i go for it with this guy?
4-how do i go for it? i have one class with him
5- how do you ask for a guys AIM screen name without sounding like a crazy stalker?
6-how do you turn friendly flirting to "im interested in you" flirting?
wow 6 questions. i give you credit if you even attempt to answer all of this.
: )
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1 - You actually HAVE standards, which will set your apart from many girls your age. Having standards is a good thing, even better if you stick to them, but some of your expectations are a bit much. Someone who 'likes movies' 'plays at least one sport' and 'doesn't have hair past thier shoulders' should be filed away under 'it would be nice if they...' not 'they absolutely must!'. It's okay to have standards and okay to have preferences, but calling your preferences 'standards' is a good way to become judgmental and rigid.
2 - Frankly, understanding 'people' is way more valuable then understanding 'boys'. After all, boys are just people too. Picking up books on interpersonal skills and personiality types can be a great help, but for help understanding boys, espcailly the younger ones, try "He's Just Not That Into You" if you haven't already.
3 - Why not? Go in with an open mind a willingness to take the risk.
4, 5 and 6 - These questions basically come down to "You just do it!" If a person is also flirting back, even a bit, these things become rather simple and straightforward. Start talking about things you have in common, class, teacher, friends, school-stuff. You can even get his AIM name by talking about school things (ie "Do you think you could proof this essay OR I could help you with those questions tonight. Give me your AIM.") From there, be yourself and be honest. Things will either flow naturally to something more, or they wont.
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Okay I won't tackle every question, but in short I can tell you this. While it is good for you to have standards in choosing boys to date, it is not realistic to expect boys to behave like mature men. Trusting with your whole heart is something you will eventually want to do again, but experience is a great teacher and you will gain wisdom if you learn to listen to yourself. Life is a bittersweet journey and love and loss are the moments that define our time on Earth and make it precious. Your heart is precious and your love is also. Take chances that you can afford to take, but don't gamble away what you cannot bear to lose. Love yourself first and the guys that respect you and see your confidence in yourself will be worthy and attracted to you. Life is too short to dwell on our mistakes or losses beyond what they can teach us. Hold on to the good and move on...a little more carefully, but move on and live knowing you will lose some and win some and have the time of your life doing both.
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I don't think you have high standards. It's not wrong to not want to just settle for anybody who comes your way. Everyone has criteria for who they want to be with, unconsciously or consciously. From what you listed it sounds like you want a sensitive, understanding, loving, well-groomed slightly older guy, who has ambition and cares about his future. Nothing no one else probably wouldn't want in a man. Also, you've been hurt in the past so it is important for you to go through the healing process and look for someone who is actually good for and good to you.
Haha, guys want to understand the female psyche as much as we want to understand theirs. If you have other male friends you can ask them. Books, I'm not entirely sure myself. There's so man out there. I haven't read any to recommend to you, but you can definitely ask a salesperson at your nearest bookstore for suggestions. Or better yet, visit your local library. If your library has a system where you can search for books by category and there's relationships, look into that. So people say that guys are just really straightfoward. You just have to read them the right way.
If you get to know friends as well, you can get hints from them whether he likes you or now. In any case, take it slow. Become friends with the guy first and be nice to his friends so you know what he's like and who he hangs out with.. then seriously go for it and begin the crazy flirting ;). You don't want to just dive in and get stung again. Once you've had a few conversations with him you can ask for his AIM screenname. Who knows, he probably will ask you for yours or maybe your phone number.
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