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Not sure what more I can do...
The girl that I am with has been very peculiar as of late. I really do like her and I have treated her very well so far. Where we run into problems is that when I open up and admit feelings, she tends to blow it off. She sort of lumps me in with the awful guys she has known. Recently she was surprised with how I pay attention to what she says. I commented that "I care about what she says more than how she looks" which is a true statement. But she goes "pffft, as if". Now, what bothers me is that i do care about her. It's like I'm being punished for having any feelings. Also, it really bothers me that I get lumped in with other guys. I've tried being less sexual in hopes it would help but it doesn't seem to. My gut instinct is that she only wants a physical relationship but is scared to face that fact. She and I have had both a strong sexual side but also a strong friendly conversational side from the start. Any suggestions on how to act? I don't want to get angry when she accuses me of just liking her body and stuff. It really isn't the case. Any help or thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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Well, if she is going to compare you to other guys and punish you for their mistakes, then there is really nothing you can do to change that.
I mean, she is going to have to realize on her own that you and the other guys are different people.
To be honest, if she can't respect you enough to accept you at face value, then she isn't worth anymore of your time and effort.
Really, why should you have to change how you act? If she can't accept you for who you already are then she can't accept you at all.
SHE is the one with issues, not you. So don't be blaming yourself and thinking you are doing wrong, because you aren't.
SHE needs to realize she is lucky to have a guy who actually cares about who she is and not what she is instead of acting as though you are the one who is lucky to have her.
ygs-29/f
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what happened when you tried being less sexual? how did she react? if she was taken aback by it, maybe she does only want a physical relationship. but, what do you know about her past relationships? was she really hurt before? the fact that she blows off your feelings and replies with things like "as if", it could be that shes blocking out her feelings and preventing herself from getting close to you so she wont end up hurt, especially if it is a reasonably new relationship. if she compares you with other "awful guys" its very possible she has been burned by love in the past.. probably by guys who acted really sweet and genuine and then used her, cheated on her, blew her off, etc., and she is just preparing for the chance that you may be like them. give it time, you can try talking to her, but either way id say lay off the sexual stuff and try to just establish a strong relationship emotional-wise so yall will have some stability and she will be more comfortable around you and let her guard down if it is in fact up. good luck!
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