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making friends?
Hey,
I'm working at the moment in a part-time job and find it really hard to have any kind of interaction with workmates . Partly because I am pretty shy and unconfident, I feel like a just have a really boring life and have nothing to talk about. And partly because I worry that I will look like I'm not working hard or will distract people.
I really need to sort this out a bit because I'm thinking of taking a year off study and working full-time,in a bar or something, and moving out of home (where I live with parents.)
Sorry if this is long. Thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Making friends really isn't all that difficult =]
First off, be confident. Smile, and be comfortable. Don't be nervous just because you're talking to a new person. You are a new person to them too, and they might even be a little nervous, too.
Just start a conversation with them. You can start with a compliment. Like, if they're wearing a band shirt, you can ask if that band is their favorite and then you can go on to talk about the kinds of music you like.
Find things you have in common. Ask about the person's friends, family, interests, etc.
-Laura. (16-f)
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Worrying won't get you anywhere and nor will the belief that you lead a boring existence. You have to chuck that out of your mind and know that you're just as cool as anyone else.
These people will want to know more about you. Just be causal and talk with them on breaks for starters. In fact, your employers will want to see you are socializing with other workers as it shows them you're a team player.
As long as you work hard, do what you were assigned to and give others room to work socializing when it's appropriate should be fine. When it comes to talking to others ask about their interests, don't talk about yourself unless asked questions and see where it leads.
My advice to you is join something like toastmasters or take a drama course that forces you to socialize and work with others and trust them. This will help you out in life a lot as would volunteering.
There's NOTHING wrong with you. You just have to start believing that people will like you and that you have lots of good things to say and have no reason not to have a ton of friends. You see, if you believe anything less than that you're shutting yourself down and off from what you seek.
Just be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. You also should see a therapist to work on people skills, socializing and the fears you mentioned above. If they can give you pointers you can use to succeed that would be ideal for you.
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