|
boyfriend .
ok today me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months , we've had major ups and downs . but latley its just been downs , we love each other very much ; but we are so jelous its creating problems more nad more everyday , i cant even remember the last time we've went the WH0LE day with out one argument . its eaither always over some girl or some boy . we are very jelous & it kills me , we call each other bitches and ass holes it breaks my heart . we know we both love each other very much but we need help . i mean reall good advice . we both dont want this to end but its not lookin good .
help <3
thnks .
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You two need to sit down and talk. I don't mean some long talk just yet. You need to come to an agreement to not be calling each other the awful names. Each time on of you does that it is just going to raise the stress levels. You both need to stop that for this relationship to be respectful. If you are just called a bitch, you aren't going to be very receptive to what he has to say and vice versa. If you both can come to an agreement to stop that some of the rest may get a little bit easier. But jealousy comes normally comes from one of two places. The jealous person either has self esteem issues or has trust issues. I think you both need to be honest and decide which causes your own jealousy. Once you know the root problem, it can be addressed. If he thinks he isn't good enough, you need to let him know that he is more than enough and that you aren't going anywhere. If you are worried because all of your last bfs have cheated, he needs to remind you that he isn't one of your exes. You are both jealous and worried. If a person will cheat, the other person in the relationship can do very little to stop it. It's been 9 months. If either of you was going to cheat you probably would have by now. Jealousy is very difficult. It's hard to stop worrying and it's hard to change our insecurities. You both have to talk about what you are scared of. It's only the two of you in your relationship. Nobody else on earth can fix it. Only you two can fix it and one of you can't do it alone. You can only get there with work, with patience, with love and with understanding. Instead of fighting and getting louder maybe work on getting more quiet when upset. Raised voices make words sound angry and hurtful. Just keep taking small little steps. Rome wasn't built in a day but you can get through this.
]
I think you should plan a special day for the two of you. Maybe have a candlelit dinner, rent some movies, or go out somewhere to a nice place, comedy club, BUT before you go out, i would just have a talk with him. remind yourselves of the good times, maybe bring out some pictures or talk about the cute memories you may have shared. Then what needs to take place is something to rebuild TRUST, because trust is the issue here. Ask him who and what makes him feel jealous and threatened? If it will make you two feel better maybe go through your cell phones or myspace messages to prove there is nothing going on behind each others back. Hopefully after this one time the two of you can move on and trust each other. The two of you need to make an effort to not fight.
]
I think all you can do is sit down and have a very long talk. Just discuss everything and try to reach a solution. It is normal to be jealous, but you know you each trust each other and maybe there won't be as many arguments about other girls and other guys.
Just be honest with each other about what you each want and hopefully it will get better.
You should also try to spend a day with each other in which you agree to be disconnected from the rest of the world (well maybe not an entire day, but a few hours), it will help you two remember the good times.
Good luck.
Teacup
]
More Questions: |