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regrets about drinking?
16/f My boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 months and it has been amazing, but before we met he used to drink and smoke. He doesnt remember some nights, and i know he would drink and then drive. yes i know, no me gusta =[ He also smoked, mainly cigarettes, and pot just once. He realized how bad it was for him and decided to stop, and he hasnt done anything since. (i am strongly against drugs and alchohol. i wouldnt date anyone who did those things, and he gave it up for me along with his benefit in mind. me=straightedge =]) He doesnt plan on it and i support him all the way. He deeply regrets doing any of it, and i've told him everybody makes mistakes, nobody's perfect blah blah blah, but i was wondering if anyone could think of anything i could tell him to make him understand that he shouldnt hate himself for making those mistakes. its hard to explain what i want to tell him, idk. he is the most amazing guy i've ever met and we love each other SO much, but he can't forgive himself for it. any thoughts? please and thank youu =]
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well that is tuff because I know exactly what you mean about you know what to say just not how to put it. I think that next time the subject is brought up just be like we all make mistakes that is part of growing up. As long as you have learned your lesson then it dosent matter and as long as you dont go back to those old habbits. Make sure he know that you forgive him... I have learned that guys take repition.. When my husband asked me to marry him, i said yes of course and then he kept asking me like days later I still cant beleive you said yes are you for sure. They just need to know that you have completly forgiven him and that you care about him. Obviously it is still something that is deeply bugging him so he is going to need to overcome, that is a bad part of his life that I am sure he wants to forget but it is probally really hard and is something he regrets every day of his life. It will take him a while just give it time but the main thing I can tell you is just let him know you are there for him whenever and that everyone makes mistake and that you completly forgive him! I hope this helped a little I dont know what else to say to him sorry. Good luck though!
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well, i participate in those things occasionally, but i applaude you for your belief against it, i think it's an overall smart choice and you should applaude your boyfriend too! its not easy to get out of the thrill of smoking or drinking, and that shows how strong and mature he is. obviously he is trying to convince you that he is guilty of his past, and that shows he's insecure and afraid of not receiving your approval. you might come off as too strong on your beliefs, and when you scold people who take part in illegal substances, he might take it to heart because of his past. the next time he brings it up, i suggest that you give it to him simply but strongly, such as "I will only say this once. Choosing to end your actions made a much greater impression on me than what you did before that. I never judged you because you realized your mistakes, and I'm very proud of you for that. I understand your guilt for your actions, and I completely recognize that, but I would love if we could move on from that." i hope i helped!
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