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its too early for money probs =[
if this gets long, im sorry, but i need some good mature help and need to give some background info. my boyfriend and i have been together for one & a half years. i turned 17 a little over a month ago he is going on 18. already we get in delimmas involving money. im a waitress making $2.20 an hour + tips, which can be pretty good or really bad. grant you i have saved money up and have roughly $1500 in the bank. he makes $7ish an hour and works more than me, however has nothing saved. we both are taxed heavily. ive worked 9 months, hes worked at his current job for 7 but had a previous job where he was not taxed at all. yet he still never had money. he just got a car a week or two ago and is paying $160 every two weeks on it, plus gas and insurance and whatever he wants to buy, he has to buy it. i do the same exact thing except i dont have car payments because my mom traded one of her cars for mine. but i still pay gas and insurance etc. we both live about 15 minutes from town [coming from opposite directions] where movies, food, etc is. the thing is, in all the time weve gone out, weve HARDLY done ANYHTING. we'd sit at his house and watch tv. there has been a few times once in a blue moon that wed go out.. sometimes he'd pay "if he had the money". other times id suck it up and pay simply because of the fact that i hated just sitting around. now that hes moved farther out than he used to be, and got his car and is making payments, that situation has gotten so much worse already. hes paid biweekly, and after he pays car payments gas etc, he doesnt have much left, which i can understand, but he thinks he can put all the financial strains on me. we were going to go to a breakfast buffet one day this week, but now we arent because "he has no money". we can never go to eat or anything now unless i pay it. grant you we didnt do stuff every weekend or whatever before, it was seldom we actually went out to do stuff. he sees this situation as, i have money saved up so why cant i pay for our meals, movies, etc if i want to do something? fyi: yes it usually is me that wants to go out, he can stand just to sit at home, which is ok sometimes, but not every freaking time i see him. were very serious with each other, even talking about gettin married later on. my mom says if he cant even pay for us to go out to eat now, how will he be able to support me later in life. its not that im selfish with my money, but i agree with my mom and im kinda old fashioned. i do think the guy should pay. maybe not every single time but you know. he sees the fact that i want him to pay, or have to help support me later on as dependent on him or a gold digger. i love this boy so much, i dont know what id do without him, but this drives me crazy and i just dont know what to do. i realize he doesnt have lots of money to throw around right now, but i dont think the whole load should be put on me. any advice? =[
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I really think you should sit this boys ass down and talk to him. Tell him to stop being selfish and start savin his money. Or if you to DO end up gettin married you will both be livin with your parents for the rest of your lives or you will be homeless. You don't want that. I have been homeless before, it is not fun. Girl you really need to set him straight. You should not be payin for anything unless it was a "your choice" thing. Do you understand what I am sayin?
He is makin more then you and he needs to grow up.
If he loves you like you think he does then he will understand. But if this don't stop, then all the pressure will be put on you. You will have to get a BETTER paying job.
Its not about being old fashiond or anything.
I have been in you situation before.
Him and I were dating for 3 years. But he never changed and I realized that if he wasn't in my life then I WOULD have the money to live the perfect little life and I could see other people and find someone who could support me and not have to worry and anymore money problems.
relationship at the start of the year myself)... but sometimes love blinds us too the truth.
Take along hard look at where you are now, and where you wana be. Is he really the guy who will help you get there?
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Hes taking the piss.
Sorry but someone has too say it. If he is earning more then you, which if he is paid more and works more I asume he is, then how comes you still save money and he never has any?
He is being very selfish, he's spending his money on himself and then just expecting you to foot the bill after when you want to spend time with him. I'm not saying he shouldn't spend the money he works hard for, but if he is prepaird to accept yours all the time he should be willing to cough up aswell.
Its not about being old fashiond or anything like that, its comone deceny.
I don't know what advice I can really give you here. If he is quite happy just sitting around all the time, and doesn't wana motivate himself to go out now, then it might never change. Is this really the situation you wana be in for the rest of your life? Its hard too see at such a young age, especially when you have been in a relationship for so long (I know, comeing out of a 2 year relationship at the start of the year myself)... but sometimes love blinds us too the truth.
Take along hard look at where you are now, and where you wana be. Is he really the guy who will help you get there?
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