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humorist-workshop
A Crush on My Best-Guy-Friend...
I am part of a group of a few people (most of whom are guys) and I've developed a sort of crush on one of my best friends. Okay, I'm full-out into him. He's not perfect, debonair, bad-boy or anything like that--he's casual and goofy. Anyway, so for a long time, before I began seriously liking him, people used to tease us...you know the whole "you two act like a married couple." joke, etc. Even my friend's mother thought we were dating! So now that i do like him, i'm delusional because of those things. I told my other best guy friend, who is a close friend of the guy i like, and he told me originally that everyone always thought we would end up together. So now i'm even more delusional. What i'm really trying to ask for here is advice: i've talking to him about a girl he likes...he's never been very clear about it, but i don't know what that means. He has told me someone told him her friend likes him. I asked him (since i'm his friend i can easily ask personal questions) if he would date her, and he told me it depended if he liked the girl or not. Oh dear, a lot of babbling. I really just don't know what to do about the current situation. I like him a lot, and I'm very desperate for a female opinion since all I've got so far is male advice. I spend a lot of time with him, and still, people, like my friend's girlfriend, say we're "cute" together, but he doesn't seem to like me in that way. He teases me, makes eye-contact, tells me if he can't make it to meet after school (we walk home together), we sit together on a couch when we hang out, he puts his arm around my shoulder sometimes when we're walking home, he lets only me wear his hat, and he's really very nice to me. All the tell-tale signs right? Or maybe not. Am I reading too much into it? Is it all just mixed signals on my part? I'm confused, frustrated and upset. It's affecting my life in a negative way, and i can't focus. Overall, I'm very shy and insecure about this and myself in general; I've only been in one other relationship which was counter-productive (and that's putting it nicely). I don't think I would ever be able to confess to him, as my guy friends have suggested. I've asked them, "Does he like anyone?" and "Should i just give up?" They honestly don't know; he's not very open about his feelings, apparently. I've told him i like someone; most likely a mistake. I can't tell him who it is, without lying or embarassing myself beyon belief, and even if, for whatever reason, i'm not being delusional, he probably thinks i like someone else now. I've really dug myself into a big, dark hole. What do I do?! I really need a solid answer or i will drive myself insane. (btw 17/f, and if this seemed really fragmented, that just how jumbled my thoughts are now)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you two are such good friends, you just need to talk about it. Don't play any games about it or anything. Surely he would rather know to be able to make a choice. The very worst is you would remain as you are now. You shouldn't worry about him not wanting to "ruin" the friendship. Guys are less worried about dating friends than girls are. If nothing else, you will feel so good that he knows how you feel and it's in the open.
You have had time to do all of the flirting and hoping he will make a move. If he was going to ask you out he would have by now. If he is interested he probably doesn't say so because of the friendship. Guys can't read signals. We aren't mindreaders. Even if he has read them, he probably has thought you were playing around. Maybe he has been flirting and hoped you would say something. If you say how you feel, you will know. Maybe just knowing how you feel would be what makes him interested. If this is the guy of your dreams, games are not the way to go. Yes, you won't have to make yourself vulnerable. But you may end up flirting while some other girl is asking him out.
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Ok, wow, your really into this guy. Well, i dont want to be like everyone else that says, "tell him how you feel" because i know what its like being heels over head for your best friend. You have to flirt with him a lot and see if he flirts back. Also hang out with him alone, and see how it fits. If you think he really does like you, tell him how you feel, if your still unsure just keep on looking for signs but dont become obsessed with it. Once you do, it takes over your whole life, and that is the worst thing that could happen! Just try and look out for some signs and signals. Let me know how it works out!
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