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A boy intruding in my relationship.
So this boy Eric has a crush on my boyfriend. He gets calls from Eric in the middle of our dates sometimes and it's completely random. Recently, we heard that Eric told his friend he was gay. The way he was acting and the things he has said, he surely does has the hots for my boyfriend. Besides calling him hottie, sexy, blah. My boyfriend is straight. He really wants Eric to leave him alone [not in a homophobic way, in a flirting way], but the thing is "he doesn't know Eric's gay yet". Eric wanted to speak with him alone for a bit and I'm assuming it was supposed to be about that . Some other chick is trying to hook Eric up with my boyfriend. So he's trying to avoid the guy But he's doing it all wrong. It's making it worse since someone pointed it out that it may look as though, he's playing hard to get. Where & what should my boyfriend tell him? When is the right time? Should my boyfriend just go for it before Eric says he is gay? The guy is beginning to become a bit stalker ish.
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Chill out and back off.
It really isn't your place to 'out' Eric to your boyfriend, no matter how certain you are that he is gay.
Change your tatic and ENCOURAGE your boyfriend to have a this private talk with Eric. The right time for this talk is NOW. It's not about Eric getting a chance to speak, it's about your boyfriend getting a chance say STOP. If your boyfriend aint gay, Eric aint gonna get anywhere with this 'talk' even if he does poor his heart out.
Before the talk, ask your boyfriend about what he thinks Erics problem is, encourage him and help him to create a kind but very firm response of "I'm not interested. I will never be interested. You need to stop calling/follwing/ectra." You could tell him that you have *heard* Eric is gay, butas Eric hasn't told you, you don't know for sure.
I know this issue is really effecting you and your time with your boyfriend, but it still really isn't *your* issue to deal with, it's your boyfriends. The best thing you can do is be supportive and patient with him while he deals with it.
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Okay I have to admit this is a bit out of the ordinary. Firstly, I think you should tell your boyfriend you've heard Eric is gay. Your boyfriend should just be honest with Eric and tell him that he's got a boyfriend and that he's not interested in him. Your boyfriend could perhaps that he is feeling a litte uneasy about the fact he feels Eric is flirting with him and the fact that he feels that Eric is being a tad stalker ish. I don't believe your boyfriend is gay 1) because he's with you and 2) he wants Eric to leave him alone but just remember I don't know your boyfriend. As for the girl who is invloved maybe you need to tell her to back off or get your boyfriend to explain he's not interested in Eric. I can understand all this would be a little hard to deal with and I guess in a way you've got playing in your head "he's not gay is he." It may make it easier for you to deal with this situation if you talk to your boyfriend about YOUR feelings about what's going on. Be open and honest!
Best of Luck xx
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