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Resolution?
So, I got linked to this site and I'm basically on the last thread of my sanity, and thought, "Hey why not." The bottom line is I cheated on my girlfriend. There's more to the story i can spare, but nonetheless it was a terrible situation, where we weren't together, but turned into more of a blackmail when I got back with my girl, "If you don't sleep with me again I'll tell." After a few times of destroying my morals even more, I put an end to it, and sure enough, my girlfriend was told about what I had done thereafter. I have been with many chicks, had many heartbreaks, but this is one I can not leave behind. I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life, unlike a lot of people who ask advice on here. I have exhausted a lot of time and effort into trying to find resolution with us for months (and I know she's still in between on the idea of giving me another chance), and I would give anything in the world to obtain it. What should I do? A lot of things I read on here about cheaters are very close-minded, and leave no cushion for a human error, or even the possibility of an honest change. Please help?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well the first thing I will say is this: Take absolute responsibility for your actions. Do not reply to anything with "but we weren't together at first" or anything like that. The first step to making her realize that you are serious about moving on from this is the fact that you are willing to take total blame for fucking up. I don't know if you have done that thus far, but if you have, keep it up, if you haven't, own up.
Second, I am not sure as to what kind of interaction you have with her during this time, but try to keep it at a "friend" level. That way it doesn't seem like you are really pressing her to make a decision. If you still hang out, try to make it as casual as possible. It is a way for her to remember why she was with you in the first place, seeing you for the person you are again rather than the person who hurt her. Be yourself, it is the reason she was with you to begin with.
Third, she needs a reason to trust you. You are the only person who can really figure out what that reason is, as corny and cliche as that sounds. It has to be beyond "because I love you" or "it will never happen again" because anyone can say that stuff until they are blue in the face, but it doesn't matter unless they are able to see it in you. So work hard at regaining her trust, because if anything, this will be what determines both whether or not you have another chance and whether or not the relationship will withstand this type of incident down the road. Sometimes when a person cheats and is taken back, they find a way to put a bandaid on it and think it's fine. What can happen is the trust is never regained and the other person becomes extremely insecure about it and it can ruin the relationship.
I am not sure if this is what you were looking for, but that is my take on it. If you have other questions, I can try and answer those as well. But good luck and I hope things work out for you.
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